Elusivity

Some people never found true love.

Some people never found happiness.

I never found the miracle eye cream after a close to two decades search. This is an absolute bimbotic rant because even though I'm not expected to be on the covers of any magazines, let alone merciless social media pages, my eyes tell the world I'm tired. Whoever coined the phrase that the eyes are the windows of one's soul knew exactly what he/she was saying.

Even a recent meet up with a famed beauty authority figure in Singapore led me to believe the right eye cream was right under my nose. It was my own product but it worked for most...but me.

I have inherited the fatigued look of my dad and still waters run deep, my fatigue is deeper than that. I enjoy and thrive in environments charged with adrenaline and have trouble keeping still but something, somehow is again showing warning signals that I have to slow down...or else.

My eye bags are as described to be 3D. I often jokingly lament that they are bigger than some other supposed-to-be vitals. Concealers are my best friend and recently so, instagram filters.

Beyond this post about eye bags which are barely scrape the surface of deeper issues that resonate within my soul, I just want to say, I am tired and I don't know how to rest or recharge. This is a torment in itself because...there is no end to this tunnel.

Just as the only remedy to reduce eye bags is real proper sleep, I believe the answer to my fatigue is rest in my spirit which can only be found in one person-my Lord and Savior. Yet, somehow, I've allowed the so many items on my schedule to drown out the need for Him and the voices of demands to silence His whisper.

I'm not one to want to go back to the past but if there is one thing from the past I want to reclaim, it's my blind unadulterated love and zeal for a Savior so true and good, rich in infinite vast love that I can never put aptly into words.

I want that part of me back.

#wishlist