Clay mate resurrected

Very seldom will do I ever do posts like these.

Just downloaded clay's old album "measure of a man" again after a hiatus of 9 years.

During this time he came out of the closet and became a dad. His voice continued to be nothing less than spectacular but his career went on to tank because his support base was primarily conservative and well, plain divergent. Like the Red Sea, clay mates parted. They couldn't reconcile the polar opposites of reality and what they wanted him to be. Their ideals crashed.

I was disappointed when I found out. The signs were so clear along the way but unless otherwise specified, I refuse to give in to speculations. Slowly, he retreated into oblivion.

A close friend recently confirmed what I knew all along but chose to cast doubt until the "I"s were dotted and the "t"s were crossed and every word spelt out in full. This time, I didn't go into deep denial. I took it as it came. The truth was brutal and while I still don't understand the struggles of homosexuality, I have decided it will not stop me from loving him. In fact I fiercely guard his identity and love him even more even though it absolutely breaks my heart. I cannot imagine the ordeal of struggle and confusion he had to go through and how alone he must have felt. My mind couldn't stop looping around why and what were the roots.

I don't think I'm going to find the answer any time soon. I suspect it is different for everyone and it is a classic case of " to each his own". All men and women have struggles of the flesh and war against lust envy and all manners of sin. His came in a different package and it does not diminish his stature as a man or his worth as a person. Most of all, " he ain't heavy and he is still my brother".

Let him who has not sinned cast the first stone. - with that, I am determined to do what Jesus did and what Jesus did not do. He didn't join the rally to stone the adulterer. In one spectacular moment he offered mercy friendship and the lady went on to sin no more. I don't know if she succeeded in wrestling her way out of those struggles and pain but I think that encounter gave her a strength to fight the wiles of lust in a greater measure. Whatever the final outcome was, I will never know but I know He never loved her any less and while I do not profess to be perfect, He is who I'm following.

My personal march 11

The day the earthquake/tsunami hit Japan.

It has been nothing but tumultuous. The entire year of 2012.

I can't wait for it to screech to a halt. The year I went from mnc to sme. From pit to hell. Lost a community. Redefined many friendships. Learnt how to raise corporate cash like four times in 6 months. Hired an army who can't really fight. ( standing army) redefined gender stereotypes.

Still I feel like I'm right smack in the centre of His will. Strangely. Although i personally preferred if my résumé post 2010 to look a lot less checkered. on closer inspection I think it might be that at one time, I held four appointments. ( I've since reduced it to 2)

Coldplay - The Hardest Part Lyrics

http://youtu.be/uVmHF1EIFb0


Sent from my iPad

2012

It has been such a difficult year sometimes I just marvel that what a miracle it has been that I'm even still here.