It would have been a perfect happy post to document the fun I've been having so far with my friends and their offspring but it got tainted today with a mini skirmish with my MIL.
I am so disturbed and wrecked with guilt (and not so much regret) that I actually have to get this off my chest. My husband is sleeping now and while I managed a confession, somewhat tearfully out of guilt, he merely laughed it off. Most people would because it really is so stupid and I know its convenient to blame my hormones but my conscience knew that I was responsible for it.
It is by now, common knowledge to anyone who knows us or our families that my MIL is kinda random and loopy. I was watching tv after a tiring but fun day with one of my best pals and her son and winding down when she started to send me a few texts about Kylie Minogue. I tried to tell her that I didn't care but she didn't back down or take the hint. This was probably the tip of the iceberg kinda incident coz there were other incidents that I just inhaled and let it simmer within me with explosive energy incubating.
So I told her to stop texting me and that I DIDN'T care about KYLIE and (what made her think) I was the ideal audience for Kylie trivia.
Yes, I see that she meant absolutely no malice but I blew my top and in the end, I sent an apology after hopping around the house and panting for a good 20 minutes. I thought long and hard and decided to apologise for blowing my top and being rude but maintaining that I'm not interested and please stop texting me till my phone is going to explode to 1)tell me what to do about my life such as wash my hands because germs are everywhere or 2) tell me about things I don't care about.
It's just my lousy way of reacting to fear that she would totally go all control-freak asian style on me, my helper and my son when he arrives. I have also long been annoyed with her and never addressed it even though Isaac has told me to say no in small bite-sized ways. I didn't so and knowing me, one day , such as today, I exploded, full blast.
How do I put this? I'm sorry, but not sorry. If it buys me peace, I'm really kinda relieved and I'm sorry she didn't reacted well to hints, not-so-overt shrugs and polite "uh huh..thanks bye" to gently slither way in uncomfortable situations and let it explode instead. This mini skirmish has caused us both some distress. It's neither small nor big in any earth shattering style but I know feelings were hurt. I tried to address the hurt feelings the best I could but I wish I had the perfect way to do it. In fact, I wish I had the perfect way to tell her that "hey, you hurt my feelings with horrible things you said and it rooted in me so i'm not going to be best friends".
I wish there was a perfect manual on in-law relations and how to run them but nope, never easy.
No comments:
Post a Comment