It is really hard to be steady and calm. As some of my friends are also going through different stages of pregnancy at this point, with varying degrees of difficulty and discomfort, some more serious than the others, I can't help but feel afraid.
There are really so many variables and I get the patronising but well-meaning "trust God" or "commit everything to prayer" a lot. No one really empathizes until they go through the same stuff. I hope I'm never careless enough to utter these words in future when I do meet people going through the same stuff. Pregnancy, especially first-time pregnancies are seriously nerve-wrecking especially because there is someone ELSE you have to protect but feel completely powerless at.
I do appreciate well-meaning friends who have gone through it who try NOT to tell me anything gory/scary and their own traumatic versions of birth stories. I know the general skeletons of it and there's that. The rest, I have to be content with the question marks and ambiguity and leave it to God who will guide my doctor with wisdom and skill.
Physically, I do have a lot of aches and pressure now on my back. It is still tolerable and just uncomfortable. Thank God for that. I also seemed to have put on close to 2.5 kg in just one week. This is a far cry from not putting on any weight up till last week. I just hope it didn't all go to me!
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