chosen

"You did not choose Me, but i chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in my name He may give you"

Hez right. i didn't choose Him but was chosen instead. and of all people...me. He could have chosen anyone of a better calibre but He did not. instead it was me He that hewn out of the rock, dug out of the pit that He chose to be called by His name, to be established in His righteousness, to be joint heirs with Him, to receive love the way only He can give..the way only I know how to receive.

it takes a mighty God to choose me because i simply am devoid of anything good to offer Him. yet He came did all that was necessary. and He nv stopped toiling when it comes to watching out for me, being there for me, loving me and providing all that i ever want or need.

its humbling.to know that i can be the one who now carries the name of Jesus christ, and that He lives in me inspite of me. that i'm perfectly righteous and holy. that i'm indeed royalty.

today i lay in bed, in my own words.."half dead". yesterday night was a harrowing experience coz i think i came pretty close or maybe i was already there to an asthma attack. was honestly scared. i can't describe that kinda fear but it grips u so bad you're just immbolized.can't even think of anything else. today, the symptoms did not exactly alleviate so i finally went to the doctor and took my medication dutifully. and it just knocked me out flat.

had to struggle just to open my eyes and there and then i would hv felt completely alone but instead i felt His presence just lingering in my room. He was there all along. not just watching but i believe that He was speeding up the healing process and basically just being there for me..the presence was so strong i just wept. in a place whereby i was confronted by a multitude of enemies trying to wreak havoc and chaos in my life and the temple of the living God, He was there to provide comfort and basically, fend off all the enemies. i was just praying before this before that ' lord, minister to me the way u noe i need to be ministered and just..show me expressions of your love in this time whereby you seem to be so far away" and tadah. He did it. for me.again.

i dunno wat else to say but thank you thank you and thank you.