don't despise me veterans. i am learning...
"you just need to realign and embrace grace again"
these words resound deeply in my spirit. i believe this is God's word for me. it sounds so simple. but its hard for a stubborn mule (which i've become) from changing in a split second. but i've resolved to rest.
heehaw.
rest is not exactly the first thing on my agenda just earlier on. i can go on..dead or alive..zombie or not..i just go on. neither am i resting in Him spiritually. toil and worry..now its taking its toll on me. and i hafta start from scratch.
its scary how easy it is to fall into works and put urself under law(in this case..my own laws ..which are crap)
purge every trace of law and works from me father..
truly grace can only be grace if it is not of works. i echo paul in this and this is slowly becoming a strong and personal revelation in me. i just hope i get it fast.
don't understand why i try to be my own God time and again. maybe because im so sick and tired of people trying to lord over my life...givin me laws aplenty. then i fall into the same trap and do it to myself. irony.
i really really cannot live this life. im not living at all. -jesus, you gotta take over and clear up the mess and debris that i hv once again prepared for you and live my life for me, thru me.-
"as i look back on what i thought was living, i'm amazed at the price i choose to pay. and to think i ignored what really mattered..cause i thought the sacrifice would be too great. but then when i finally reached the point of giving in, i found the cross was calling even then..and even though it took dying to survive, i've nv felt so much alive"-philip craig and dean. crucified with Christ.
"do not fret, it only casuses harm" -psalms 37
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