You and me ...always.

there is a peace

there is a joy

that settles here

in your presence

when your face is very near

your love erases every fear

its the power of your presence

its the strength of your hand in mine

its the beauty of your great love

that has the power to change my life

Jesus is the only one i can receive anything, tangible or not yet truly lasting from. my state of emotions right now is no where near fantastic. but there is His everlasting joy and peace. praise God.

so many questions. wrangled mess. i wish i was less complicated a person. i yearn for some sort of empathy but i turn to no one but Him knowing full well that no one will truly understand. iwill not even offer the chance for anyone to understand anymore because these things have long expired. He said that He himself is more than enough for me and will be all that i ever need in a friend and so much more and i'll take His word for that. sometimes the more human beings you rope in, the messier it becomes. learnt the lesson well and clear but sometimes, despite knowing so, i just wish there was someone who truly truly understands...here on earth. maybe just so that i'll feel less like an oddball. maybe because misery simply needs company. but i do have company.

i don't understand these irrational fears. and why they surface and torment. and why they culminate in the problems that they are. its not like a fear fear but more like...an 'issue', an uneasy unsettling feeling. no idea how to put it across either. and they are irrational simply because the human mind declares so. no other concessions made for the legitimacy and it might truly be a warning from someone whos omniscient who lives inside me. none of this sort....if im to tell anyone that is.

its ok if at the end of the day i realise i'm truly wrong. i will be simply relieved knowing for sure but right now, all i know is that uneasy feeling i have which is so palpable and i know the direct linkage to it so why is it that i am dismissed when i simply chose to confide.

some answers wouid be nice. not just for me. but for now, i'm sticking to the old routine of guarding my peace and steering from the path that renders me completely unpeaceful and sick....even when the human mind darzen agree and comes in conflict. even if no one else sees it. even if i'm alone in this.