in the eye of the storm

sometimes i just need one friend
just one, in the crowd to understand.

im adopting the isolationist policy. the USA relented not too long after adopting their own..or rather they were provoked to put that aside stand up and fight and..eventually win.maybe thats the same for me too.

for now i just need a hole for me to hide in and wallow in. i dun want anyone else but Jesus. not that i have plenty of choices to begin with in the first place. things simply don't look good and i don't want to mind anyone's business, not even my own.

its the emotional turmoil that is really debilitating in my case. i only know i only feel safe in that mighty strong tower with Him and Him alone. i don't know when i will come out. i am not a coward..im just an escapist. i don't like to see what i don't like to see so the simple option is always to put them out of sight by putting myself out of sight. by hiding in recluse.

my mind is not at rest, my heart has no joy.Hez telling me to watch and see...watch and see what He has prepared for me. yes, to take my eyes off the unfavourable circumstances but not shut them completely to what He can do for me, to what He has done for me, the cross. even in my most dire straits, Jesus speaks, Jesus answers. -weak smile- i don't even have it in me to see anything that He wants me to see. everything that He has said and has promised seems so far away, seems so impossible and elusive. for now i really can't be bothered with how glorious its all going to be..i'm too caught up with how dark it currently is..until then...

selah

for the mountains shall depart
and the hills be removed
but My kindness shall not depart from you
nor shall my covenant of peace be removed
says the Lord, who has mercy on you

O you afflicted one
tossed with tempest, and not comforted
behold, i will lay your stones with colorful gems
and lay your foundations with sapphires
i will make your pinnacles of rubies,
your gates of crystal
and all your walls of precious stones