i have been feeling deep feelings from the throes of my being of anger and resentment. and its manifesting in my lost temper which resulted in several casualties. everytime typhoon (insert name) strikes, i end up on destructive mode, posing a danger to myself and the ones around me.
i've been angry at the double standards posed at work. the injustice due to the boss listening to a liar who has been poisoning what is otherwise a sweet nice little community. a little leaven makes the dough rise. now the entire bread is almost full blown and still nothing is done about it. i can't call this righteous indignation but i feel so much for the people who have been unjustly bullied. even though they were never quite my friends.
on the brighter side (somewhat) God has been showing me alot of verses about this situation. shedding even more light but nothing about what He is going to do about it or what He wants me to do about it. and because of that, i'm doubly frustrated. coz i wanto do something. i wanto execute justice on His behalf and be His little representative wielding His righteous sword. unfortunately, He hazznt quite called my name. so i am to remain low key and in the position of trust and worship in the midst of the confusion and hurricane. i don't know what Hez doing. it seems to be nothing but deep deep down, in the lamb mind and heart, i know that as long as He knows (which He does) , together with my intercession , it is enough for Him to move His hand or speak for my situation.
in the meantime, i will watch my fingernails grow and cultivate patience in the meantime as i struggle to sit on myself to restrain myself from moving ahead of God.
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