waiting

the past week has been nothing short of dramatic and crazy. at work and in my personal life. so much unraveled and although certain things seemed to have worked out in my interest, i can't celebrate it.

i wish i could just run away again and have a quiet moment with God until i know eactly whats happening and how exactly to proceed. it seems so obscure and vague but i have no choice to grope around in the dark. i only hope that at the end of the fog i'll reach the light but i don't have too much faith myself.

i just wanto breakthrough so badly and see light. but i perceive that God is trying to make me concious of the light within me instead of trying so hard to be illuminated externally. its more difficult looking within when our five senses are all geared to observe the external. help me concentrate and redirect my focus pls then father.

on a sorta nicer note, my faithful pea/corn eating friend is back from melbourne! and she got me all excited on her arrival only to disappoint me that shez heading for london AND hk and God knows when we'll meet again...im praying soon.and she brought me THE shampoo !lest i refuse to bathe...

i've been feeling pretty lonely with all my few confidantes being so out of reach. distance and conflicting schedules seem to be the order of the day and i just hate this forced isolation. because i'm craving some empathy (note: not sympathy), a listening ear, a shoulder and just some love over toffee nut latte(at least starbucks is offering their cuppa comfort)

come back soon my friends.

i'm waiting for you to have time. and finish your work. to go starbucking.so that i can empty my heart because u never judge and i can share the exciting developments in your life.
i'm waiting for you to come back from switzerland and catch the corrine may concert with me. and make sense of this madness in me.and eat and eat with me. you're the only one who doesn't make me feel like a glutton.
i'm waiting for you to come back from zhong guo.so that we can go for teh and buffets with the friend who doesn't pick up her phone.
i'm waiting for you to PICK UP UR PHONE. so that we can go for teh and buffets with the friend who is in zhong guo.
i'm waiting for you to come back and fly off with me to hk phuket or whereever.and laugh with me and roll your eyes when i cry over just abt anything.
i'm waiting for you to make a decision.
above all,

i know i've been impatient but i'm waiting for you God. because u seem to move too slowly and i can't seem to hurry you. but i know ...i know that you've been waiting for me to slow down, to be still, to trust, to give up, to yield, to love. and u've been waiting from the beginning and sadly,the wait has not ended.

hurry up you all.

on another fragmented note, i really want my own business. my own line of something.incase theres a sponsor reading.