buy me a bucket of time

what really warmed my heart on this cold cold saturday is the sighting of an elderly couple in clementi holding hands..testament to what is possibly an age old romance and an ageless love.

i'm in a wistful soulful mood right now. imagining soulflakes falling outside my window and pretending its really cold. its one of those almost christmas nights that sets me thinking because the year is drawing to a close.

i am very concious of time passing. and one of my perennial fears is that i won't have enough time to accomplish all that i've set out to do. and be all that i've been made to be. i might be a child of eternity but time on earth is truly limited. we have timelines to meet , growth to achieve in every single area, so much to prepare..before we're called up to heaven.

this week my emotions have been tossed up and down like a boat on choppy waters. work has contributed its fair share..and when i was about to just sink into lamentation about the evil of life, i realised one of bestest friends have cancer. i'd like to be full of faith to encourage her but that moment when the news was broke, i felt like my whole world crashed on me because i could not entertain the thought of this world without her coz to many others, including me, i felt like she was always the bright spark in any dark situation. and darkness has chosen to descend on her. but praise to our God, because where darkness abounds, His light much more abounds.

i cannot imagine how much worse she must feel and how strong she really must be to stay the course and keep the faith. its a great battle indeed. isaac was just telling me how all of creation is a reflection of the spiritual war taking place unbeknownst to the naked eye. how a beautiful plant has to produce fruit inspite of ants and other pests trying to sap it of its life. life itself is truly amazing. true zoe life can truly produce inspite of the circumstances. i only wish i had that.
somehow i see how depleted i am in the midst of difficulty. while others glory and shine even more because of God's glory in them, i seem to falter and succumb to the pressure on the outside.

its a long long journey but i have a longsuffering and patient God.