the round table affair

i hate to confess this but i will...

its a struggle for me not to indulge in self-pity..when things are not going my way.

so to counter that...i will nail my brother to the cross to remind myself that through Jesus' sufferings, i've been made righteous and thus is very blessed!

i'm kidding. i love him fat as he is.
i'm the queen of wishful thinking.

had a horrible horrible family dinner with the side of the family that i honestly honestly do not like to spend a minute with today to celebrate my grandpa's birthday. and i am so positively sure no one even knew how old he really is and we dun even care. my mum paid for the entire feast and no one even said thank you. its ok. nothing new. and i was fired with the same routine questions.."where are u studying?what are u studying?oh goin to graduate already har...so what do u plan to do?"

and to that..my answers are..."nus.history.yes.dunno"

i din even bother to make conversation or give awkward smiles. i turn into a stone. a robot. i dun even bother to gingerly sip chrysanthemun tea this time and pretend to sms. i just folded my arms and looked straight back trying to restrain myself from screaming and pointing out the fact that its so horrendously incredulous that they have been asking at least the first two questions ever since i was in kindergarten. no make that nursery.

my brother( poor thing) on the other hand din even get that. my uncle who has like sub zero discretion exclaimed upon seeing him.."WAH...are u in taf club yet?put on so much weight ar?"
grr. my poor bro was quite hurt i could see. and awkward. and he din have the guts to shoot them daggers or soemthing along those lines...or hope out loud that they swallow a fish bone.

my brother is FAT AND CUTE. and saved. so Jesus just happens to be living inside a slightly roomier temple. thats all! can shrink anytime we want. grr

albeit being a brat irritant and all...therez a good side of him that manifests every nwo an then! i dun even wanto rat on my cousins whom i havent had a single verbal exchange with for the past 21 years of my life.

do not love them. do not do not!dread chinese new year.