not happy. not everything is going my way. no surprise but its hard to sit still and let go and let God.
but i am determined to do just that. even if im tempted to go ballistic, panic, scream (but prob is i dun even know who to scream at)etc etc.
the allergy that i am having now does not belong to this body no more. temple of God. shoo shoo. dun allow you in my territory. SHOO.GRRR.
am seriously thinking of shutting the blog down because i simply don't have what it takes to keep it going. esp now that sch has started and the journey is more or less the same. with the more or less same tests and more orless same miracles and same victories. not slighting these things but there are too many things that words arent apt enough for. there are too many revelations, heartfelt waves of gratitude that words simply don't suffice. i don't emote well. esp not on a keyboard. so if this darzen serve the very purpose, den why .....
i wonder. i want this blog to serve its purpose well. a place whereby ican document my journey and look back in awe at the wonderful hand of God on this simpleton. but its been increasingly hard for me to say anything. because of the words that i might wanto take back but can't. and just because the fact that its hard to hold my tongue does NOT mean that i have to type it with my fingers. because it involves other people and i don't wanto hurt anyone's feelings just because i'm angry for THAT moment.
blogger, i think you are here because sometimes i don't want a human voice to evaluate everything for me. yet i need to let it out of my pent up system. its not always a good thing too. i keep recounting the unhappy as i type entries. double edged sword though because i also recapture the cloud 9 feeling when i read/type the wonderful mercies and grace of God documented.
BUT ..its not good enough reason to be diarying. this can't be a diary when i'm so restricted. byebye blogspot. maybe maybe
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