worth it.

who defines and sets the measures as to what is truly 'worth it'?
by what/whose standards?

i don't wanto decide what's worth it or not. especially right now when it seems like the returns are zilch. i've received much and therefore i give freely. considering and weighing the pros and cons are just gg to add weights to my own skinny frame instead. and i'm afraid this skinny frame can only hold that much...

as this line rings in my head throughout the past two days as to what is truly 'worth it'...i realise my own unworthiness. as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so is 'worth'. we don't decide our worth. thank God. coz inflated egos will inflate their own worth and send us all reeling to outer space. it also spares us from self-pity which i believe is almost akin to a satanic activity. (too much pain).

i'm glad that He decided my worth. my high priest in heaven who came as an offering himself. and the Holy trinity decided in the courts of heaven that i'm worth it. i'm worth the price, the blood, the gruelling journey from heaven to earth ...and then to hell. so i refuse to barter what's worth it with fellow men. coz while my life and my being might be worthless to mortal men, i choose to price it like the rarest gem because of my own estimation of the sacrifice (which i pray will increase everyday). i was worth the fight with the kingdom of darkness. i was won over and ransomed so that darkness can no longer lay a claim to my life. so that i can belong entirely to Jesus and this is how i will live.

i'm so heartened that the creator of Heaven thinks i'm worth it. its inexpressible especially when i've been confronted with the blunt truth of fellow human beings who has openly declared with actions and words that i'm not worth it.

i'm not going to return that comment or even let it sink an inch into my being. i just wish i had the chance to tell you and you and you that God thinks you are worth it and i share His sentiments.