duckobell this year was extra eventful.
we didn't get anytime alone together but it was well spent. we'll celebrate on our own another day.yesterday we had a wonderful opportunity to sow into the marriage of our beloved friend and brother who got married! it was so beautiful and i can't believe that we're finally seeing it happen. i really believe that its no coincidence that we were able to sow into a marriage on the same day we turned 3.
i even prayed that i'd be more than satisfied if God gave me a wedding half as glorious. darzen even have to be in a 5star hotel with a banquet. and after i said this prayer i honestly thought i heard Him say 'NO ' to my request. and of coz i was about to scream back 'GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!" but when i heard the reply, i nearly broke down there and then coz my beloved Father reminded me that He'll never accede to my request when i ask for less, only more.
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halfway through the wedding i felt an incredible surge of love towards isaac. (oops) i realized that somewhere along the way, i started to nitpick about too many things. about him not being romantic enough, spontaneous enough and alll too woodblockish. and i forgot to celebrate the qualities tt drew me to him in the first place. i forgot to celebrate the spontaneity of our relationship and how it was birthed. i forgot to celebrate the presence of Jesus in our relationship and instead i directedmy attention to the absence of many many other insignificant things.
my priorities got messed up somewhere along the way and i forgot how it felt like to be the most blessed girl in the world just because i'm his. watching julian cry when michelle officially became mrs yang made me realise how wonderful and how great a miracle it is to be able to be with the one you love themost. it takes so much just for that to happen. infact, it takes God. thats why 'star-crossed' lovers can never be together no matter how much they try and how some unions just fall into place nothing can tear them apart.
i had such a surge of gratitude towards Jesus for authorizing and beginning this relationship. because isaac is truly everything i ever wanted ..and slightly more. (okthe woodblock part is can go but i'm praying it slowly chips away) i used to think his blurness was CUTE then after that it jsut got so much on my nerves it made me scream in frustration. and he had to adjust to all these changes in my attitude. while i used to accept him just as he was, i later tried to change him. and all this while, he only tried to change for me, never demanded once that i did the same for him even though i honestly could be more.
i once saidin a post so long ago that i truly value acceptance. acceptance from my friends that i cancome to them just as i am, ungroomed, blur, chor lor and loud. but little did i realize i cheapened and neglected his unconditional acceptance and love for me. (although he did briefly mention that i was prettier when i presented myself to be of more 'marriageable quality')
the wedding yesterday jolted me from all that. as i stole a glance at my husband-to-be, i remembered exactly why i wanted to marry him and still do. why i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and still do. how despite being the only one who can drive me to tears, he is also perhaps the only one who can truly make me happy.
i'll forever thank God for the day that isaac's name was written in the book of life, foreverthank God for then bringing him into my life. i'll celebrate our salvations, and truly rejoice always. just as paul advocated.
thank you Jesus.
thank you darling.
only God knows how much i truly love you, thats why He didn't allow me to forget you and us.
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