my faithful audience

i realise that after a long day, when i sit at His feet either to complain and cry or complain and cry or...God knows what else i say. it seems to be only that. but Hez always the same. He said it to His diciples after their long day and they told Him both of what they had done and they had taught...and all He said to them was "come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while". mark 6.31.same thing said to me. twice. today. i first saw it at abanner outside st andrews cathedral (and something deep inside me just tugged)and when i opened my bible today, it went straight to that page. God has a way of speaking to me everytime i flip open the bible. i rarely have to turn to a page.it just lands there. i thik He already knew that i don't know enough toeven know where to flip too...

same for open book exams. i dun flip.He opens.

i've been a robot going around with the mundaneness of life. and the only time i truly relish in the day besides being able to talk to isaac..is when i lie on my bed at night and its all dark and talk to Him. He must have waited a long time sometimes for me to hang up the fone with zac so that He can listen to what He already knows i will say. but its apparently still ok. i still will have an audience with Him anytime i want to. how privileged.

sometimes, when i'm going about my daily stuff, or i'm feeling bogged down by issues, feeling myself sinking in the sea of notes(for now since its the exam season) or God knows what else, He is there, to tell me to get out ...to just rest. its commonsense i guess but its still so soothing just to hear Him say that. when human logic tells you to not stop but step up instead for ur exam revision, to put this fire out and that fire out, He always differs. and thats what i like so much about Jesus.

He is the only soothing balm that works when the hurt is so deep. when you cannot rationalise away the pain. nothing more i yearn now but to go away to somewhere deserted and have Him all to myself. and i know when i do, He will be there already, waiting.