This is a difficult post for me to pen and it was sparked by an article I read about a Christian couple who just lost their son to drugs because he struggled for years with self-loathing due to his sexuality.
They did what most well-meaning Christian couples would do in their predicament. They tried to "straighten" him through prayer, counselling etc. He was receptive for the most part and really desired holiness and to please God. However, 6 years into that endeavor, he gave up and forsook God and spiraled down an odyssey of darkness into sin and drugs. He eventually succumbed to a fatal dose and now as the mother puts, she just wished she had a "breathing son to love".
I will never fully and truly understand the loneliness and painful struggles of a homosexual. Especially one whose faith marks it as an utter abomination and whose society they reside in is very conservative. Today, I had a long talk with one of my dearest friends who has stood by me through the darkest times in my life and is a homosexual. We did not talk about the gay issue. We did not talk about the Christian issue. We just hung out like schoolkids over tea and laughed over mindless things-like old times. And then it hit me, then just because one is gay and I am a Christian (who still believes homosexuality is a sin and not of God), I don't have to center everything around it or let it dominate everything. Neither do I have to have a secret agenda to "coax" them out of it even as I desire God's best for them. I cannot explain why they have these inclinations. Neither can they and I guess, if they could choose for themselves, they wouldn't want it to. Who would? It results in being marginalized in both family and society and even jobs discriminate whether we admit it or not.
At the end of the day, it is not my job to work out holiness in them. If I were to be less of a hypocrite, I can't even work out holiness in myself for crying out loud! It is God's work in me as I surrender and walk daily with Him. It is a difficult and sometimes very treacherous journey that requires constant commitment. Sometimes, I falter when the storms of life brew but He picks me up and loves me the same. That acceptance and unwavering faithfulness and tried love gives me the strength to pick myself up and take the next step. Likewise, shouldn't I extend the same to others when I myself have been such a big recipient?
I don't want to wait for the day until I lose them to not be able to love them. For the first time today, it suddenly dawned on me on how much they respected me as a person. They knew how I saw the sin, that I'm Christian and how uncomfortable it made me and they never displayed PDA in my presence. They were respectful when I shared about Jesus in my life, my struggles etc. Yet, I did not reciprocate. I am ashamed. Excuse me while I shed these self-righteous robes just because I'm heterosexual.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating an endorsement on homosexuality. I'm saying, no matter how you view it, as a sin or not, to love people as unique, individuals for who they are and accept them. Love them for as long as they breathe because as long as they are alive, there is room for God to intervene. So while I still hope that they "straighten" out, I am going to hold out that hope for them even as they give up on themselves. But these hope extends beyond "straightening out". This hope is for them to know Love himself, personified in the person of Jesus. And, even if they do not "straighten out", I am determined to love them because I know that's exactly what my God did for me. Love and friendship should not have to rest upon the denomination of sexuality.
Father, teach me to love, even those I do not understand.
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