from perfect ten to class 95 to gold 90.5

the subject title is indicative of the ageing process. no , i'm NOT at gold 90.5. i basically don't do radio. so i'm ageless.

my brother started secondary one not too long ago. which school..don't ask. most of my friends know i have an emnity against that school such that i actually stopped talking to him for awhile when he defied my wishes. another point altogether. but then again considering the best sch i wanted him to go to only took in girls...he didn't have many choices.

when he talks about school work and rambles off incessantly in his half baked pre puberty voice, provoking my thoughts to scramble for the answers i thought i once knew, the reality that its been at least a decade since mgs hit me hard.

it felt so fresh in my memory. i guess i still feel young. or maybe because i'm still very in touch (considerably) with the people i grew up with. yes, dear friends, we've made it through a tumultuous decade. the 90s, when i grew up as a gawky awkward teenager was so 'yesterday'. today's young sings a different tune that to me is completely out of tune. mine was a cool generation, a class of its own.those now, mere copycats doing a bad job even just copying. in my humble opinion of course.

yesterday's memories, despite being yesterday are well logged in the throes of my memory. yes, sometimes some of you think i have alzheimer's or its equivalent. i call it selective amnesia instead. but oh my gosh, did time really slip through just like that?

apparently so. call me slow but i can't get over this. yes, my phobia of time slipping away insidiously has reared its ugly head again and this year i'm even eligible to sing the '24 oceans' song by switchfoot !

with the prerogative of hindsight, i suddenly realise how very blessed i've been. even more so than i originally thought.that truly, God has been so faithful and awesome. now i suddenly see that the journey he brought me through was not in vain. and in His infinite wisdom, he didn't even waste a single tear i shed and protected me even when i was naive and plain stupid. my only regret is that ..yes..i wasted alot of precious time and opportunities. but i'll leave those regrets in the dust and be more forward looking.

did i really live through all that? apparently so. as i mentally go through the snapshots of life etched in my memory, i cannot believe that i once was that teenager. that girl who was so guileless, blur and trusting. not that i'm a cynic today (at least not a full fledged one) but so much has evolved. while the pruning process has been often painful, i'm glad it bore fruit. i look at the people i've left behind in the dust of memories, the friendships that were once so tight but have have since dissolved due to lack of maintenance.

i'm thankful that i still have many. and my friends , well most anyway have standards. that we haven't compromised and been sucked too far into materialism and all other forms of idolatory. mei ling would know what i mean..and that i'm thankful that when we even come close, one of us would pull us back.

all in all, i'm glad lah. i hope that 10 years from now, when i look back and 'oh my gosh' about how much time has elapsed while i lived life, i'll have sweeter victories and the same old people to reminisce with. and we'll still be going from glory to glory with the same God.

**
trivia:
one friend remarked that she particularly remembered the first thing i said to her.
apparently on the first day of class, my teacher told us to turn around and introduce yourself to your neighbour. and all i said to her was "err...i need to shit"

its hard to forget me. just as its hard to remember me for the right reasons.