and could you show me now
just what would be the chances
that i could tell you how
if i knew where all the tears were flowing to
i'd guide them to a river
where i'd swim with you downstream
this is that old dream
that i told you about twenty years ago''
this is that new song- badly drawn boy.
to hear it...go to
www.calciumlithium.blogspot.com. its my friend cali's blog and its playing there.
yesterdays contribute so greatly to our todays. yet i have such a faint memory of my yesterdays. hence, the apparent lackof explanation to why i'm so strange. my old irregular diary entries serve as historical records of sorts to give me a glimpse into certain imploding of behaviors and moodswings that root back to these yesterdays. unfortunately, most of the time, i can't read my own handwriting.
most of my friends who are still in relative regular contact with me take notice of the absence of my memory. this is quite a strange undertaking as i used to be the one with a photogenic memory. i could easily remember lists of phone numbers, birthdays, names and faces. i scored effortlessly for history because i could piece events, details dates together. now, i simply embark on a journey trying to piece together my history and co-authoring my future with my God.
maybe its not a bad thing that my hippocampus(the part of your brain that stores info) is somewhat incapable of retrieving memory that was stored. while i don't foresee forgetting recent events now, i doubt i'll ever fully retrieve all that was lost. i have to confess that sometimes when you and you and you relate and reminisce about the past...i really just pretend to find it familiar. like i knew. when i'm already emotionally detached from that moment in time.
just this week i found out that i was actually nicknamed 'little bird ' in jc. by a teacher. something like that shd have stucked but it didn't.btw the reason behindthat nickname was because i apparently flutter around alot, flail my arms alot when i talk, eat alot and shit alot. (BUT OF COZ BECAUSE IT DOESN'T RESIDE IN MY MEMORY, we have just no way to verify that.TOO BAD) and i was chatting with another friend whom i realised remembered more about a certain periodof my life that i did.
its like being a new person when you can't account for the days you've lived.
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