growing up

its april already and that alone is almost terrifying. this is the year for me whereby i step out in the unknown world dog eat dog as a lamb, hiding behind the shepherd. and is the only reason i have no reason at all to be terrified. i really do remember jsut celebrating new year's eve like 2 hours ago or something but that is well..not so. time darzen wait for me even though i have lapses of apparent memory loss.

my exams will end by 5 may. yes, the number of grace and i will embark on a new chapter of my life. excited, really. this is the year i turn 22 and i have nv been 22 before. i feel 16..but the excitement is not quite the same as starting day 1 in jc. i'm quite happy to leave the past behind knowing that the future holds greater gifts and blessings. i don't know what 22 is supposed to be like, having never been there, except in my dreams and so don't expect me to act my age. to me, its really just a number to keep track on how long i've been dwelling on this earth, and possibly, howmuch time i have before my return to my true home.

my righteousness goes before me in all my endeavours and covers up all the dirty tracks i leave behind. it also paves the way home for me. my righteousness is a person and His blood avails. so its all going to be well. and for you too, if you're my sister/ brother in Christ. nothing can overtake you, except His blessings purchased on the cross at the unimaginable but true price- His blood. and if u're not, the doors of this family/kingdom are well open to you any time.

alot of promises that i've heard so often but nv really seen came to pass are coming to pass right before my eyes. so inspite of the occasional bad, i know good and His grace much more abounds. deep down, i remain convicted although i sometimes vascillate towards following what i see. i cant believe what i saw then, coz it appeared to be a downward spiral. i cant believe what i see now either, coz its getting to be soo good. but it darzen matter, it is no statement of the truth. circumstances are merely shifting sand. i'll remain on the rock.