collateral damage

Yet again.


This is my second time being collateral damage in a political office struggle which has led to me first being upset, then thrilled at a sudden avalanche of expensive and seemingly opportune opportunies within the same conglomerate and even with a certain previously way-out-of-my-league corporate adventure.

Then I decided to just stay and yes, serve my new boss. Because that's what I think God wants me to. Because what I started, I want to finish. Because I didn't think that there would be so many coincidences that she was my first boss in beauty and 10 years later, I am right under her nose under her charge. Despite what many has said about her and reputation, I find myself heaving a huge sigh of relief.

But there's still a tussle and although I don't want to choose sides and really just sit and do my work (or in some cases, roll up my sleeves) I seem to be the pawn in this corporate tug of war. I am wholly submitting myself unto God to be my protector, provider and in all circumstances, for His glory to prevail. I am praying for obedience to His will, guidance and discernment. God alone h=knows how badly I need them.

Which is why I am going to say "no" to what was handed on me on a silver platter. The opportunity of what some would call....a few lifetimes. To manage key functions for 7 territories. That was a rather instant promotion but because of the travelling entailed and because of what-I-think-I-heard from God, I am staying put. Even if forces try to get rid of me.

My whole world is turned upside down and I find myself dragging my feet to work for the first time in very long because I dread the politics. I still have very nice colleagues but everyone's on the edge and morale is at an all time low. My world is so upside down but somehow, I feel like I'm at peace and more joyful. Strangely but weirdly. I also indulge more in buying my own make-up than just receiving and feeling obliged to use what might not suit me on my face. I am going back to my beauty favourites instead and re-discovering. Sephora has awarded me golden awards too many times in my respite from depression by drowning in make-up with discounts I am almost embarrassed.

I am also having more breakouts and fatigued skin because of the heightened stress and lack of sleep.
My husband, which used to have to stick to a strict anti-acne regime (prescribed by me) can now go for days without a moisturiser while I find myself using his mattifiers, toners and ANTI-ACNE (horror of horrors!) stuff that I bought to salvage his then skin woes.

The tables have been turned.

But life goes on.