Out of control

It is not that unfathomable really.

It's pent-up "unshaped energy" that has been brewing in the depths of my soul for the last half year or so. So I unleashed it all in one month.

To be very honest, it felt good. In the past, the joy was always short-lived but this time round, it sure hasn't expired yet and is burning like how Adele could only express it.

I also bought stuff for the family. In preparation for the next haze and our general welfare. Now that the country is not smogged out and we have reasonable air quality and beautiful cool weather (if only it lasts), I even bought a snazzy air purifier.

The financial damage is massive because with it came some fancy device to kill dust mites in my bed. We used it once already and I cannot believe the results. Dustmites and their faecal waste are usually microscopic but mine heaped up into this white mass monstrosity of a thing. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like grey cappuccino foam. Compounded over 5 years. It's hard to imagine I survived that much dust mites given that I'm asthmatic. It's truly a miracle I'm alive despite the constant wheezing which leaves me perpetually fatigued with chest pains as a result of my ever tightening muscles. I'm glad all this is a coming to a complete end.

I'm grateful for the finances to make all these purchases. While buying and buying, somethings purely out of lust, I thought about how this year I truly learnt the lesson of Philippians 4:

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Now I just need to exercise some self control and not get carried away. I am reminded of the less fortunate, not just the ones hit by the typhoon in the Philippines but those I work and live with everyday. A huge part of my workforce is filipino and I wonder if I can render direct help. 

Lord, help me to be discerning and to obey. Thank you for your blessings and help me to bless in return.