Everyday Miracles

And everyday can be a miracle. In spite of the rain of perceived misfortune and things just not going my way.

It is hard to imagine that just a few short months ago, we were facing a seemingly imminent separation, severing the ties that bind us together in holy matrimony. I still shudder at the memory of that and treasure what I have even more now. These days,we are much closer and there is a renewed spark in our marriage. I watch him pray his long prayers now not with the annoyance buoyed by impatience but appreciating his sincere petitions to the God we serve. Every nuance, every action, from just mere breathing to his deliberate attempts to soothe me to sleep (another night of panic attacks) warms my heart.

Of course, I am not naive enough to think yet again that this buoyant sense of being on cloud 9 will last forever. A change in my hormones might cause yet another potential rift in us or just render him a lot less endearing. However, I know that in spite of it all, I am committed and the good outweighs the bad. That I need to hold on to the good times to tide us through the bad times, drawing strength from them to keep me going until the next chapter of good unfurls.

I do not take the now for granted. The snuggles, the scent of him, the love demonstrated in so many ways. I know that these things can all be robbed of me in a second if I am not careful. If neither of us hold on dearly to each other, to God. I know that marriage is such a delicate vase that needs constant care and can be broken with carelessness. I know that it is a gift.

Therefore, I will cherish, hold and love with all that I have. Because nothing else is dearer.

Thank you Lord. For this wonderful gift.