free

I haven't felt so free in such a long time. Despite nursing a migraine, I feel great in my spirit.

Today, I laughed and worked (very little) and even though I returned home exhausted, I felt joy inexpressible. Someone must be praying for me.

During my toughest week, the Lord sent an angel to deliver specific bible verses to us even though she was in holiday in Beijing. She only saw the verse references in her spirit and had no clue what they were. To cut the long story short, it spoke exactly to us. In volumes with just a few verses. One verse only consisted of names and when Isaac looked up the meaning of the names, it formed a beautiful sentence, our message from heaven.

I am amazed and in wonder. How God knows the tiniest woe in my heart and cares. I still marvel even after 15 years as His child. May I continue to marvel everyday.

I had one of the worst pieces of news yesterday and when I relied on my own understanding, my spirit crumbled within me. In my own words, I just thought there is no way I can see it through. I was awashed anew with despair and fear. Yet, today, miraculously God gave me a peace and joy in my heart so deep. I still don't know what the outcome is but I am assured of plenty of grace and a victory at the end no matter how treacherous and difficult the journey might be. The example of two also encourages me. Jesus and my dear friend, Mei ling.

Making peace with myself and releasing the debt I owe to the past alleviated the weight on my soul too. Now I can rejoice even though it's december. Even though it's the last month of the year. I have hope and a joyful expectancy of the new year. I can let go of regrets though they happen. I cannot deny them, they are real. But I can surrender them and start afresh because of the God of second chances. And I can learn everyday how to depend on Him to see me through, though I fail many many times, He never gives up.

Thank you.