Never a firm believer of regrets but no matter how I try to veer from it, because it almost always descends into a whirlpool of self-pity, I can't.
So, instead, I'd re-adjust my damage-control settings and set it to maybe one a week. Over the course of however long it takes, I'll lower my dosage and wean myself off it.
I don't know how long it'll take to heal the fresh lacerations on my soul. Some days I yearn so much for someone to hear me out, my story..for a cathartic release. There are two impediments to it though. First, I have no such person I have access to who will listen, not judge and bring my secret to the grave. Secondly, I will not have the words to articulate the layers of events and emotions embedded so deep within me.
The clouds of grief have finally gotten so heavy and rained afresh on my soul.
But I'll dry myself, re-orientate myself and get going. I've done this before and I'll do it again. It doesn't get easier with practice but with experience, I navigate better in the darkness.
Can't wait for the day I don't have to repeat this vicious cycle.
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