Isaac vs Paris

and Isaac wins. (I think )

yesterday he asked me if i would take up a trip for an all expenses paid (including shopping) trip to say somewhere like Paris if he couldn't make it. if it was somewhere like Asia, i might give it a pass more readily.

i vehemently said no at first. if Paul Mccartney didn't spend a single day apart from Linda during their 30 + years marriage, I just don't see why I should. I mean, the thought of spending 3 days away from him in Sydney is already quite unbearable as yet. I would like to think myself as rather independent. as in even though i'm not blessed with a great inate sense of direction, i somehow can survive, find food and lodging and manage in a foreign city alone. (read: how i found first aid when there's none with a sanitary pad)

then when he said 'are you sure?even with unlimited shopping?" and i felt my 'no's waning in gusto.

but the verdict is, no one is banging down my door to offer me the above so i don't have to mull too much over it. YET.

but its really so hard to be apart. its like sometimes we overdose on each other and I can't wait to get a breather and miss the days i've got SPACE on my own apart from him, especially when we annoy each other. but the moment we're apart, i feel like i can quite die from lovesickness. and even though i always survive, the cliche stands true: absence does make the heart grow fonder.

most of the time, i think, we spend a good amount of time falling in love with each other over and over again. its not like we don't have our epic fights that threaten so much in this still young marriage but deep deep down , there is that unshakeable, precious bond that irrevocably binds us together . and He gives us enough grace to forgive, enough love to soothe away the hurts and harsh words every single time.

i hate to quote someone like meredith grey but i like her answer when Mcdreamy asked her what she would like in her vows -"promose to love me even when you hate me".

i just want to cherish and be faithful to all that He has given me and the vows that bind me. to love him well and serve him well. i've been loved with something so divine and i don't want to give any less. he is the treasure that God has given me and the vessel through which God has chosen to love me. imperfect as he is, i just want to give more and let Him always love him through me.