fragments

i've left you my blog to collect dust as i hurry through life shuttling around, climbing up the slopes of mid levels and scouring cheung sha wan for no 777, a building at the end of the road, a very long road, a foregone conclusion that should have arrived much earlier so that we could rest our tired bodies, minds and souls.
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I don't want to drive people to green envy with the opulence of the chandeliers and the visual spectacle of the assembly of accessories.I want to drive people to jesus as they witness the goodness and works of God in our lives.Above all, he must not just be the planner but be the guest. The vip guest.Up to this point, I often find myself dumbfounded as to what I want for my wedding. Ie, what dress, what jewellery, what theme etc.I had no clue. Until now.

But what I truly want is intangible, felt and not seen. Experienced. I don't just want my guests walking away enjoying themselves. If the core of their being is touched by the greatest love in the world, if they walk away witha deposit of my lovely lord jesus christ, I've had my perfect wedding.

There have been so many offers to help with the sourcing of various wedding stuff. I truly appreciate that but what I seriously covet is your prayers that isaac and I will have grace for a lifetime together, walking thru the mountains and valleys together with His peace and joy. That there will be forbearance and grace for each othes shortcomings and love to build each other up and a warm home of comfort to come home to every night as we sojourn thru a world that is not our home.

yay. no more air kisses over the phone at 11pm. real ones from 7pm onwards!everyday!
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i want to relinquish ownership to you all over again, now that i don't have the slightest clue where all is heading. maybe i do have a clue but its not clear enough and the signal is weak. i want you to own fully so that i know i'm in good hands. i turn and surrender those areas of my heart to you so you can inhabit them. here is your latest new home to add to your collection Jesus. Have a happy stay.

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i've been reading obsessively a book i cannot recommend. i've been reading it while trying to find a footingin that crowded moving tube they call public transport which barely transports you from point a to point b alive.

i've been skipping tv and many other things to finish the book and 600 pages or so later, i'm done.

this book has cost me 170 hkd. and i nearly missed my flight as a result. for the first time in my life, i was the last person to board the plane and heard my name announced. because i was trying to pay for the book and get to the cashier.

and speaking of which, i'm glad it'll be awhile before i board the plane again. how long exactly i'm not sure. because i'm sick of plane food when i used to be intrigued by the little sets and how tidily they were lined up. (familiarity breeds contempt) and i came face to face with the reality that i was away from home too much (at least in my own estimation) when i watched almost everything thatcould remotely interest me on krisflyer. they didnt even have time to change the schedule before i boarded the next flight. so that's why it brings me back to my semi original point-i had to have thebook or be bored.

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a lot of you know the artefacts of the past in my museum. some are worth some money and im putting them up for sale. because that night, it came back to haunt me. so the next day i rushed to the cupboard that housed the memories to take them out. to put them outside, in the hope that it'll keep the sting away. and the memories will be detached from the present , and leave the present and future untainted and clean.

to my amazement, they had not a mite or dust on them. never mind, they're still going on ebay. i hope i'm not cheapening it by auctioning it online. because i know i really am saying that the memories aren't worth that much that i'd trade them in for money. well, they contributed to who i am today but i wouldn't want to keep them, an emblem of disappointments, hurts, spite and also forgiveness.