Theodore Roosevelt:
"the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again ; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end of triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."
Monday, June 25, 2007
the call to sacrifice
the call to sacrifice-Neil T Anderson and Rich Miller
" It seems to be the great ambition of manking to be happy as animals instead of being blessed as children of God. The cross calls us to sacrifice the pleasure of things to gain the pleasures of life. If you shoot for this world, you will miss the next.But if you shoot for the next world, god will provide the good things of this world as well as make provision for the next. Paul puts it this way , " Dicipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily dicipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. It is a trusworthy statement deserving full acceptance." ( 1 Timonthy 4: 7-9)
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose"-Jim Elliot, matyred missionary.
" It seems to be the great ambition of manking to be happy as animals instead of being blessed as children of God. The cross calls us to sacrifice the pleasure of things to gain the pleasures of life. If you shoot for this world, you will miss the next.But if you shoot for the next world, god will provide the good things of this world as well as make provision for the next. Paul puts it this way , " Dicipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily dicipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. It is a trusworthy statement deserving full acceptance." ( 1 Timonthy 4: 7-9)
"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose"-Jim Elliot, matyred missionary.
returning
sometimes if i'm not careful, i make an idol out of certain things and it takes my focus away from the only one that matters.
until i'm gently nudged to go back to my first love and allow it to take precedence in my life again.
**
put on quite a bit of weight and i feel clumsy. some might like to dispute that i was clumsy when i was skinny but thats not the point. last week i walked into a wooden plank, walked into a man riding a bike and caused him to nearly fall off the bike amongst other things.
i feel like i take up more space than before and thus, things and pple shd make way for me.
i was quite upset abt the increase in weight until i remember my doctor telling me that my bmi prior to my putting on weight was like 17 and that increases risk for osteoporosis.
i was also upset that alot of that weight seems to show up alot on my face.
certain pple are so going to make fun of my cheeks.
sigh.byebye self esteem
until i'm gently nudged to go back to my first love and allow it to take precedence in my life again.
**
put on quite a bit of weight and i feel clumsy. some might like to dispute that i was clumsy when i was skinny but thats not the point. last week i walked into a wooden plank, walked into a man riding a bike and caused him to nearly fall off the bike amongst other things.
i feel like i take up more space than before and thus, things and pple shd make way for me.
i was quite upset abt the increase in weight until i remember my doctor telling me that my bmi prior to my putting on weight was like 17 and that increases risk for osteoporosis.
i was also upset that alot of that weight seems to show up alot on my face.
certain pple are so going to make fun of my cheeks.
sigh.byebye self esteem
Sunday, June 24, 2007
who are we really rejecting?
"they don't see you as i do"
i like that God sees me covered by the blood and accepts me in all my humanity. he sees hope in my future despite the little that i am. i don't wanto ever grow independent of him. i like it that He walks through the valleys AND mountaintops and my weaknesses are not repulsive to Him. His love is not cancelled out by anything i do and at my lowest, i can always expect His love to be even sweeter and stronger.
one of my main struggles in life is refusing to fear and take into consideration man's opinion and making the concious choice to put God's opinion over all else. even though He is unseen and they are seen ( to the naked eye).
its so easy to subject myself to the scrutiny of man and allow my esteem to fluctuate according to their moods. not that God sees me as perfected but the acceptance He has for me by virtue of Jesus' qualification and justification is something no man can ever give me and i cherish that more than anything else in the world.
man might read one page in my life and dismiss me but God knows the story, from beginning to the end. and He is determined to walk me through more than i want Him to.
i'm determined to do the same and even though sometimes i fail and find myself swallowed in pride as i despise certain others, nothing pains me more than when even the church despises its own. its nothing out of the ordinary shd we suffer persecution from the world but when the world offers more acceptance than the church, something is seriously wrong.
sarah allis yang shared today about her experience of walking freely and finding acceptance to God, imperfect as she is. i love her spirit and she is one of the christian leaders of today that i truly respect. she doesn't preach a message. her life is the message. her and her whole team at the ark will put any religiousity to shame and i'm so glad our paths crossed. i like the fact that she doesn't bother to hide her imperfections by donning religious robes /dresscodes and comes truly as she is, with her imperfections and flaws. i love her team so much i have to fight impulses to swim over to the states to join them.
i long for this kind of fellowship and brotherly love and i can see how pleased the Father is when His children are like that and having been in the church scene in singapore for well over 10 years, sadly, i have never came close to what they have.
if there weas a prototype for all of us to conform into, then we're missing it. the church of Jesus Christ is meant to be a diverse church because Christ came for the world. the church should have room for all sorts, and not the perfected. the perfect belong to their own narrow minds and should make room for those Jesus died for, the true inheritors of the earth. the sinners, the sick, the outcasts, me.
i wish someone would remember the pit they were hewn from and know that if all they're looking for is top grade (measured by the world's standards , ironically), they cannot expect a revival. coz top grade pple don't think they need Jesus and are few and far between.
make room and shoo!
**
a black man was cast out of a white church some 100 years ago. he lay outside crying at the door, disheartened and dejected. suddenly, Jesus appeared to him. Sobbing, he cried out "Lord, they won't let me in".
Jesus lovingly replied "Son, they won't let me in too"
**
i like that God sees me covered by the blood and accepts me in all my humanity. he sees hope in my future despite the little that i am. i don't wanto ever grow independent of him. i like it that He walks through the valleys AND mountaintops and my weaknesses are not repulsive to Him. His love is not cancelled out by anything i do and at my lowest, i can always expect His love to be even sweeter and stronger.
one of my main struggles in life is refusing to fear and take into consideration man's opinion and making the concious choice to put God's opinion over all else. even though He is unseen and they are seen ( to the naked eye).
its so easy to subject myself to the scrutiny of man and allow my esteem to fluctuate according to their moods. not that God sees me as perfected but the acceptance He has for me by virtue of Jesus' qualification and justification is something no man can ever give me and i cherish that more than anything else in the world.
man might read one page in my life and dismiss me but God knows the story, from beginning to the end. and He is determined to walk me through more than i want Him to.
i'm determined to do the same and even though sometimes i fail and find myself swallowed in pride as i despise certain others, nothing pains me more than when even the church despises its own. its nothing out of the ordinary shd we suffer persecution from the world but when the world offers more acceptance than the church, something is seriously wrong.
sarah allis yang shared today about her experience of walking freely and finding acceptance to God, imperfect as she is. i love her spirit and she is one of the christian leaders of today that i truly respect. she doesn't preach a message. her life is the message. her and her whole team at the ark will put any religiousity to shame and i'm so glad our paths crossed. i like the fact that she doesn't bother to hide her imperfections by donning religious robes /dresscodes and comes truly as she is, with her imperfections and flaws. i love her team so much i have to fight impulses to swim over to the states to join them.
i long for this kind of fellowship and brotherly love and i can see how pleased the Father is when His children are like that and having been in the church scene in singapore for well over 10 years, sadly, i have never came close to what they have.
if there weas a prototype for all of us to conform into, then we're missing it. the church of Jesus Christ is meant to be a diverse church because Christ came for the world. the church should have room for all sorts, and not the perfected. the perfect belong to their own narrow minds and should make room for those Jesus died for, the true inheritors of the earth. the sinners, the sick, the outcasts, me.
i wish someone would remember the pit they were hewn from and know that if all they're looking for is top grade (measured by the world's standards , ironically), they cannot expect a revival. coz top grade pple don't think they need Jesus and are few and far between.
make room and shoo!
**
a black man was cast out of a white church some 100 years ago. he lay outside crying at the door, disheartened and dejected. suddenly, Jesus appeared to him. Sobbing, he cried out "Lord, they won't let me in".
Jesus lovingly replied "Son, they won't let me in too"
**
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Anchoring.
i found myself in semi panic mode today. after i took caffeine. i know i shdn't have but i did. my blood pressure has always been pretty low and caffeine worsens the condition. soon i found myself spinning, pouring cold sweat and my heart racing. this was followed by waves of nausea.
i hope to learn my lesson. no more caffeine. ever.
also, i was also stressed with financial forecasting. Lack of experience and an unhealthy fear of numbers thanks to failing a maths for 2 years straight didn't help.
so i just panicked and panicked...and all this time my head was spinning and i was pukish.
didn't help until i threw everything aside to just cry out to Him. and being faithful to His child, peace managed to tranquilize my soul and arrest my heart.
phew.
**
found a pretty cool list that pretty much sums up alot of deception we face in the modern world, so i thought i'll share it:
Deception
1) believing that acquiring money and things will bring lasting happiness (ref: Matt 13.22, 1 Tim 6.10)
2)believing that consuming food and alcohol excessively will make me happy (Prov 20.1, 23.19-21)
3)believing that a great body and personality will get me what i want. (Prov 31.10, 1 oeter 3.3-4)
4)believing that gratifying sexual lust will bring lasting satisfaction ( Ephesians 4.22, 1 Peter 2.11)
5)believing that i can sin and get away with it and not have it affect my heart (Hebrews 3.12,13)
6)believing that i need more than what God has given me in Christ ( 2 Cor 11.2-4,3-15)
7)believing that i can do whatever i want and no one can touch me (prov 16.18, obadiah 3, 1 peter 5.5)
8) believing that unrighteous people who refuse to accept Christ go to heaven anyway ( 1 Cor 6.9-11)
9)believing that i can hand around bad company and not become corrupted ( 1 Cor 15.33,34)
10) believing that there are no consequences on earth for my sin ( Gal 6.7-8)
11) believing that i must gain the approval of certain people in order to be happy ( Gal 1.10)
12) believing that i must measure up to certain standards in order to feel good abt myself (Gal 3.2,3;5.1)
recognize anything? let the truth set you free!
i hope to learn my lesson. no more caffeine. ever.
also, i was also stressed with financial forecasting. Lack of experience and an unhealthy fear of numbers thanks to failing a maths for 2 years straight didn't help.
so i just panicked and panicked...and all this time my head was spinning and i was pukish.
didn't help until i threw everything aside to just cry out to Him. and being faithful to His child, peace managed to tranquilize my soul and arrest my heart.
phew.
**
found a pretty cool list that pretty much sums up alot of deception we face in the modern world, so i thought i'll share it:
Deception
1) believing that acquiring money and things will bring lasting happiness (ref: Matt 13.22, 1 Tim 6.10)
2)believing that consuming food and alcohol excessively will make me happy (Prov 20.1, 23.19-21)
3)believing that a great body and personality will get me what i want. (Prov 31.10, 1 oeter 3.3-4)
4)believing that gratifying sexual lust will bring lasting satisfaction ( Ephesians 4.22, 1 Peter 2.11)
5)believing that i can sin and get away with it and not have it affect my heart (Hebrews 3.12,13)
6)believing that i need more than what God has given me in Christ ( 2 Cor 11.2-4,3-15)
7)believing that i can do whatever i want and no one can touch me (prov 16.18, obadiah 3, 1 peter 5.5)
8) believing that unrighteous people who refuse to accept Christ go to heaven anyway ( 1 Cor 6.9-11)
9)believing that i can hand around bad company and not become corrupted ( 1 Cor 15.33,34)
10) believing that there are no consequences on earth for my sin ( Gal 6.7-8)
11) believing that i must gain the approval of certain people in order to be happy ( Gal 1.10)
12) believing that i must measure up to certain standards in order to feel good abt myself (Gal 3.2,3;5.1)
recognize anything? let the truth set you free!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
announcement
i'm very pleased to announce that supper is a legitimate meal. because Jesus ate supper. HALLEHLUJAH!
the last supper remember??
the last supper remember??
why wait?
one day every tongue will confess You are God, one day every knee will bow
but the greatest treasure remains for those
who gladly choose You now
but the greatest treasure remains for those
who gladly choose You now
Monday, June 18, 2007
thought of the day
let my valleys be full of Your joy and peace, as i behold your majesty. let man not see me when i'm on the mountain tops but see the banner declaring your son, lifted even higher that they may know that You are sovereign in my life.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
undone
"woe is me , for I am undone!
because I am a man of unclean lips
and i dwell in the midst of a people with unclean lips
for my eyes have seen the King
The Lord of Hosts"
Isaiah 6.5
because I am a man of unclean lips
and i dwell in the midst of a people with unclean lips
for my eyes have seen the King
The Lord of Hosts"
Isaiah 6.5
Friday, June 15, 2007
Church camp 2007 report.
back. and so changed. this time, it's different. its no longer just an experience, a spectacular demonstration of power and majesty. this time, i'm convicted
i'm almost speechless so be patient while i struggle to string my thoughts. i repent of every disdainful thought i had towards this trip. God blew my mind, wrestled for my mind and won my mind (and heart). its not just everything made right. i dont wanto boast abt anything and make myself sound like the greater saint but somehow this time round, i felt almost sold out.for Him.that nothing else matters.
my own agendas appeared to have laid to rest. i don't know but i don't think i have the strength to resurrect them again. i used to be afraid, that He'll give me an assignment i don't like but now, i'm seeing the fruits of obedience and the grace that comes to equip me when i deny my mind and say '' yes''.
the deep desire of my heart is nothing more than His pleasure and making Him happy. i feel like i can't live at all if its not the best He wants. i'm a love sick bride of Christ. just excuse me.
prophecies galore but that's not even the highlight. so many confimations. they just serve as accessories to the main thing. was so engulfed with molten love i was incapacitated and speechless. tears flowed freely but the joy deep within was incomprehensible. i was not satisfied...i thought i'd be but i found myself wanting more.
all the struggles have ceased by now as i die. as the waters went into the dead sea and emerged from the other side as fresh living waters, watch while i die. don't hold on. i've been crucified with my Lord and i want so badly to live as He'd want me to . i almost think some of you will think like you lost a friend. because i'll be unfamiliar..but i take heart that some of you will gain a better friend. dying to myself so that Christ can come alive in me. to take territories for God, i must first surrender my own.
it's all so precious to me i'm afraid that if i share with the spirit of unbelief, the value of it all will be diminished. so pardon me if i don't put it here.
still discovering more as i incline myself to His voice. i saw the mantle. i wanto finish the race well.
now i feel truly victorious. its the marrying of the shulamite and the nazarite in me. no longer just lovesick in worship but i love enough to fight back and take back, for His cause. the nazarites fight..hard.love hard.
suddenly i'm not aware of my limitations and inadequacies that scream '' im just me, what can i do?" but i just wanto do it because i hate the things he hate and love the things he love.
strange ..if you knew me.
"just give me 12 men who fear nothing but God and hate nothing but sin".
i'm almost speechless so be patient while i struggle to string my thoughts. i repent of every disdainful thought i had towards this trip. God blew my mind, wrestled for my mind and won my mind (and heart). its not just everything made right. i dont wanto boast abt anything and make myself sound like the greater saint but somehow this time round, i felt almost sold out.for Him.that nothing else matters.
my own agendas appeared to have laid to rest. i don't know but i don't think i have the strength to resurrect them again. i used to be afraid, that He'll give me an assignment i don't like but now, i'm seeing the fruits of obedience and the grace that comes to equip me when i deny my mind and say '' yes''.
the deep desire of my heart is nothing more than His pleasure and making Him happy. i feel like i can't live at all if its not the best He wants. i'm a love sick bride of Christ. just excuse me.
prophecies galore but that's not even the highlight. so many confimations. they just serve as accessories to the main thing. was so engulfed with molten love i was incapacitated and speechless. tears flowed freely but the joy deep within was incomprehensible. i was not satisfied...i thought i'd be but i found myself wanting more.
all the struggles have ceased by now as i die. as the waters went into the dead sea and emerged from the other side as fresh living waters, watch while i die. don't hold on. i've been crucified with my Lord and i want so badly to live as He'd want me to . i almost think some of you will think like you lost a friend. because i'll be unfamiliar..but i take heart that some of you will gain a better friend. dying to myself so that Christ can come alive in me. to take territories for God, i must first surrender my own.
it's all so precious to me i'm afraid that if i share with the spirit of unbelief, the value of it all will be diminished. so pardon me if i don't put it here.
still discovering more as i incline myself to His voice. i saw the mantle. i wanto finish the race well.
now i feel truly victorious. its the marrying of the shulamite and the nazarite in me. no longer just lovesick in worship but i love enough to fight back and take back, for His cause. the nazarites fight..hard.love hard.
suddenly i'm not aware of my limitations and inadequacies that scream '' im just me, what can i do?" but i just wanto do it because i hate the things he hate and love the things he love.
strange ..if you knew me.
"just give me 12 men who fear nothing but God and hate nothing but sin".
Friday, June 08, 2007
testament of my creativity
this is totally random. and it came to me at 1.23 am. i'm cracking up making fun of my name.
some time ago, dear shuxin suggested we call our new business 'xin corp'.
tonight this came to me, i cld easily change my name to ling er ring (lingering) or ling er rie (lingerie).
my surname is just so funky.
pam, its such a pity you became a ting. we were almost family. i know no one else who can lay claim to the strange dialect grp.
don't remind me i'm turning quek.
no...wait, its quek-ling.
some time ago, dear shuxin suggested we call our new business 'xin corp'.
tonight this came to me, i cld easily change my name to ling er ring (lingering) or ling er rie (lingerie).
my surname is just so funky.
pam, its such a pity you became a ting. we were almost family. i know no one else who can lay claim to the strange dialect grp.
don't remind me i'm turning quek.
no...wait, its quek-ling.
unexpected.
there is a third world country in our midst and so often, i go through the day caught up in my own problems which i thought are bigger than God i turn a blind eye to the needs of others, which i can so easily meet.
i cannot on my own profess to have a heart made of gold. sometimes i think i've got a rather stony heart but i really thought i felt a stab of pain when He illuminated my eyes to share the plight of others.
last sunday in church, i was singing with my heart to really know His heart and the words that resounded so strongly were "break my heart for what breaks Yours" and this very week, that prayer materialized. it was more than I asked for and called for a sacrifice.
i still don't know if i have it in me to obey but i'm praying for the grace to obey. break me if it has to be done but the flesh is really rebelling against it.
now i'm in a position to give, more than a convenient prayer but really give till it hurts. but somehow, even though i know its going to wound my flesh, i'm inclined to that idea. let my spirit win this battle please.
i don't want to weigh the consequences or the options but if what i've 'earned' can be accrued to someone else, i just pray now that that recipient can see what Jesus earned for her.
oh, please pray for me. to have the heart to obey now that i've heard. its already so blessed to hear. maybe this will break my tendency to self-pity and whine when the going gets tough. it really takes the spotlight off me and i really truly get to go about my Father's business.
until i forget me, i never really remember Him.
i cannot on my own profess to have a heart made of gold. sometimes i think i've got a rather stony heart but i really thought i felt a stab of pain when He illuminated my eyes to share the plight of others.
last sunday in church, i was singing with my heart to really know His heart and the words that resounded so strongly were "break my heart for what breaks Yours" and this very week, that prayer materialized. it was more than I asked for and called for a sacrifice.
i still don't know if i have it in me to obey but i'm praying for the grace to obey. break me if it has to be done but the flesh is really rebelling against it.
now i'm in a position to give, more than a convenient prayer but really give till it hurts. but somehow, even though i know its going to wound my flesh, i'm inclined to that idea. let my spirit win this battle please.
i don't want to weigh the consequences or the options but if what i've 'earned' can be accrued to someone else, i just pray now that that recipient can see what Jesus earned for her.
oh, please pray for me. to have the heart to obey now that i've heard. its already so blessed to hear. maybe this will break my tendency to self-pity and whine when the going gets tough. it really takes the spotlight off me and i really truly get to go about my Father's business.
until i forget me, i never really remember Him.
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