unexpected.

there is a third world country in our midst and so often, i go through the day caught up in my own problems which i thought are bigger than God i turn a blind eye to the needs of others, which i can so easily meet.

i cannot on my own profess to have a heart made of gold. sometimes i think i've got a rather stony heart but i really thought i felt a stab of pain when He illuminated my eyes to share the plight of others.

last sunday in church, i was singing with my heart to really know His heart and the words that resounded so strongly were "break my heart for what breaks Yours" and this very week, that prayer materialized. it was more than I asked for and called for a sacrifice.

i still don't know if i have it in me to obey but i'm praying for the grace to obey. break me if it has to be done but the flesh is really rebelling against it.

now i'm in a position to give, more than a convenient prayer but really give till it hurts. but somehow, even though i know its going to wound my flesh, i'm inclined to that idea. let my spirit win this battle please.

i don't want to weigh the consequences or the options but if what i've 'earned' can be accrued to someone else, i just pray now that that recipient can see what Jesus earned for her.

oh, please pray for me. to have the heart to obey now that i've heard. its already so blessed to hear. maybe this will break my tendency to self-pity and whine when the going gets tough. it really takes the spotlight off me and i really truly get to go about my Father's business.

until i forget me, i never really remember Him.