as the dear pants

Free by Corrine May
it's still the same old story
this great divide
between the want and waste
and all the hunger inside
i heard the news today
now i'm trying to find my place
i'm just a single voice
what can i do to erase

all this misunderstanding
all this anarchy
six degrees of separation
sometimes it's so hard to see
that we are not alone in this
i need to believe

i can be free
i can be free from this place
beautiful healer
beautiful grace
help me to see
everything fall into place
wake me from dreaming
no more deceiving

break these chains

Elijah felt alone too just because the numbers against God were alot less than those there were for. i feel alone for less noble reasons. discouragement weighs heavy and i don't know why..this haunting weight of inadequacy and that my crazy emotions are privy to me and me only.

i determined to be different from the start but not so different i have to feel so alone. although i did think to myself that even if ever the day comes whereby choosing right means being completely alone, i will. But i didn't expect the test to come in such a way that although choices have been made and things appear to be on the upward swing, the feeling of loneliness is just plain overwhelming.

what i cannot bear is not knowing. because i already have trust issues i need to hear His voice everyday. not that i don't know he is watching but because i just like the comfort of his presence. but these days, i'm back to the days whereby chaos permeated my heart and i can't hear the gentle whisper.there is only one voice i seek and i delve into semi panic mode, aggravating it all.

through it all, there can only be one who can lift me up. but before that, i have to lift my eyes to see Him in the midst of this inner storm. there is a hurricane within me and its throwing everything off balance. the only thing way to see in the darkness is through the eyes of my heart. illumine me..