Upheaval

That's how the last few days felt like.

Some days the events, circumstances and all just overwhelm and my emotions get crushed under the sheer weight of stress and I lose my marbles.

Some days I wonder if I'm just plain inept. As I ponder, it seems to point more clearly so in that trajectory and then it weighs me down further. Looking within me, it just looks all too dismal. I just don't have it in me to be better and my dark moods that settle in like the cumulonimbus clouds of late don't help either.

This wasn't how I imagined life to be at 28. Have buried so many of my dreams, aspirations and hopes in the last decade and the toil of disappointment (with people, myself included) has taken its toll. I don't even like the me I am now. I was different. I was going to be different. Now , I'm plain ordinary and weak.

I want to take some time off and travel again. To recollect me and find the missing pieces while watching the world go by.

But I don't know how to even get started on that.