Some recent thoughts

Been back from intense Amazing Race style Europe trip and I've been pretty much in an out of my semi-comatosed state for 2 days.

I cannot believe that just two months ago, I was in a semi-breakdown mode when I was tasked to do these crazy travelling stunts alone. Now, I just shrug it off and it doesn't stress me out half as much anymore. I still don't look forward to it and would rather do Asia (except India and Indon) anytime but it's fine.

Going around Europe made me think so much. Their growing poverty manifesting in beggars along high-street shopping belts are appalling. Train stations reek of the stench of urine. It's hard to imagine that just a century ago, they were the renaissance of culture and glory. Look how far the descent has been. It saddens me to think that now Europe is sending out distress signals when it once used to be so mighty and great, colonizing distant lands (including where I live), rich and strong.

The devil has robbed from them so so much yet I don't know when they'll wake up from their stupour. I walk along streets in the city past ''coffee shops'' and see people stoned and drunk. They wouldn't even have noticed if they were stabbed and robbed (if there was any money left in their packets) Their eyes are glazed over and lifeless. I'm sure they're still breathing but they might as well be dead. There is absolutely no difference. I wonder how long weed numbs the pain deep down or the semblance of filling up their emptiness. I feel so sorry and sad as I walked past rows and rows of young people staring at me stoned out.

Then there was their infamous red light district. While I tried to scurry past as fast as I could to get through to the main road where cabs are, I couldn't help but overhear some english speaking tourists discussing whether a certain girl is a virgin and worth the price they are paying for. I was so revulsed and seeing that they were standing at the edge of the canal, I was so tempted to push them in. On hindsight, it could be an oops thing and I could have saved a girl a night of misery.

Where is the church in all these sin and debauchery? What is God thinking and doing?

Oh Lord, clean up this mess. It is so filthy. Clean it all up and flush it all away. I pray that through these dire economic straits and desperation, people will turn to Christ and not assume they are christian just because they were either 1) baptised at birth or 2) their forefathers were Christians.

In the meantime, if there's anyone reading, I covet prayers that even while travelling and sojourning alone especially in the midst of all these, that I will be consumed by the conciousness of who I am in God and who I am to God. In short, let my conciousness of Him always be greater than that of anything else. Let Him be my all in all and my final authority.