best days.

i was uglier, skinnier, gawkier, nerdier and gigglier.
but i was also happier.
life was simpler.
can you really blame me for getting abit stuck on the 'best days of my life'?
i'm not stuck in the past. believe me, i'm really in the present.
that's why i've stopped laughing.

'Best days', its been awhile since we met. last week, i briefly caught you but you slipped right out of my fingers like sand.

i'm not sad now. i'm just temporarily melancholic. it'll pass.

the telegram you sent me left a rancid taste in my being. i've never tasted the sweetness you once gave, again. when i saw you, i thought, 'ah, that's it all over again' but this time it left a very strange after taste. like hard liquor.

we danced on cloud 9 everyday. i was so happy at the now defunct lips cafe. lido, cineleisure, taka square, we personalized those places. they belonged to us.

those were the days my hip bones protruded at the side and people marvel that they can count my ribs. my hide has since gotten thicker since you left. my hair's gotten way longer. i even pierced my years.

i met 'grow up'.

'grow up' made me meet 'get tough'. then i was further introduced to 'get tougher'. it didn't happen overnight. my tears were left undried. my wounds were left unmended. there are calluses on my heart and i have so many unanswered questions. my once incessant laughter abated. instead of laugh lines, i now have fine lines under my eyes.

i didn't think we were foolish. it was innocence that prevailed. we encountered grief and misery, angst and melancholy but there was always love and strength to see us through. we saw each other everyday and that alone was mighty consolaton.

so when i thought i saw you that day, my heart skipped a beat with excitement. you turned briefly with your back still facing me. i wanted to call out to you but you kept walking away. and you told me with tears in your eyes, as if you knew everything that transpired within the last 10 years, that we'll meet again, in the future.

likewise, i'll turn my back and walk the other way, towards future. so i'll find you there again.

see you soon.

"...forgetting those things that are behind and reaching forwaqrd to those thngs which are ahead."
Phil 3.13
Apostle Paul