"The Bible is not the record of people following the rules and grabbing the blessing. The Bible is a record of grace breaking into people's lives—usually in the form of suffering—who otherwise would never have been able to overcome their own corruption and brokenness."
Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian church.
wah, solid.
**
on another note, i'm thinking wedding (finally, i know i know) so here's thinking aloud and i appreciate comments/advice/volunteers but please don't have major debate etc.
bridesmaid's dresses
cut: ok since all of you want different things and i so don't want cookie cutter , i let you all decide.
it must be matching but ie: no polka dots and bold colors. same color theme will be good.
if you all have trouble getting it off the rack, cut it out of the magazine and we see what a tailor and arab street cloth suppliers can do.
registration
i need 4? including treasurer. isaac wants some of his friends there also.
annabelle?jon?joana?zijuan?adelene? ok that's 5. haha, isaac's friends will do ushering then. or bouncers. wah jon is a lucky guy.
jon has also volunteered to do a song and dance solo but i'm gently declining that gracious offer.
Emcees
cali and niq. so you all need to meet soon with me to discuss. i want to vet script because niq has incriminating stuff that constitutes as blackmail material.
overall coordination
maria .
speech
shuxin
worship team
isaac's people are taking care of this
my cell grp shd be involved. ok, they can prepare special non embarassing item.
and of course, last but not the least
oxygen tank-mei ling!
screening of montage/projector:
someone techy. joel?
wedding car driver:
isaac's friend ben?
the rest of the committee, i know almost all got private transport but i appreciate car pooling (ie. all my bridesmaids livein bukit timah!!) because we must do our part to save the environment.
(what i actually mean is parking is tight)
that's all, what am i missing?
ok then i'll organize a get together since all of you are from everywhere and we need to play stupid ice breakers to get some real synergy going here! nobody is allowed to bond by sharing weird stories about me.wah, come to think abt it these are the major grps: mgs, nhps, pj,new creation, cornerstone. and all are coincidentally christian.good.i like christian army.
isaac's friends will take care of worship, ushering, gate crashing (so you all must hold the fort!) etc.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Plea
The Lord has to divorce me from disappointed hope and help me to transcend above the pitfalls of despair to trust again. I admit my doubt and unbelief and I lay them at the foot of the cross. (and not take them back)I've struggled and crucified them a thousand times over and have no victory. I handing it over now for Him to enforce Hisvictory, their defeat over my soul.
Reclaim me for Yourself only Lord and consecrate me for Your purposes.
The distractions and trappings of wealth are very real but I know He understands and doesn't despise my weaknesses.
Sever the memory and tauntings of a history that included a time of seeming unanswered prayer and restore and baptize me again in simple childlike trust and faith.
For nothing else inherits and accesses Him more than a child like faith. And that is what I want. To please Him
Reclaim me for Yourself only Lord and consecrate me for Your purposes.
The distractions and trappings of wealth are very real but I know He understands and doesn't despise my weaknesses.
Sever the memory and tauntings of a history that included a time of seeming unanswered prayer and restore and baptize me again in simple childlike trust and faith.
For nothing else inherits and accesses Him more than a child like faith. And that is what I want. To please Him
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
dashing to the altar!
ok.
somehow i have to find time to collect keys, renovate the house and move out of one house into another FAST.
july will be a 'relak' month with 3 birthdays and 1 anniversary and alot of yays.
then come aug, what is 20% tentative and 80% sure is new york. then baby fair for 21 days.
then sept, it'll be alot of time in the skies as we head paris, cologne and stockholm.
then i'll be back and be dashing all the way to the altar. with my wedding planner and train in tow. which means i have to decide on dresses and other things. like digging up photos for montage, guestslists, speeches etc.
then after that, i just want to collapse and rest.
somehow i have to find time to collect keys, renovate the house and move out of one house into another FAST.
july will be a 'relak' month with 3 birthdays and 1 anniversary and alot of yays.
then come aug, what is 20% tentative and 80% sure is new york. then baby fair for 21 days.
then sept, it'll be alot of time in the skies as we head paris, cologne and stockholm.
then i'll be back and be dashing all the way to the altar. with my wedding planner and train in tow. which means i have to decide on dresses and other things. like digging up photos for montage, guestslists, speeches etc.
then after that, i just want to collapse and rest.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
from miss l to mrs q
i hate being away from isaac. i've said this before and i have repeated this at least 10000 times but it remains unchanged.
i told him so but he thinks i'm just being clingy and 'dependent'. oh well, too bad then. i will stick like superglue and he better get used to it come dec 27th.
i like it then when i forget my sunglasses and can't take the glare, he will put his hands over my eyes so that there is effectively no glare (infact, there is no vision) and he'll just take my hand and lead me. well, we must look quite ridiculous to the rest of the world but it's ok, we're safe and snug in our own.
and when i go 'my shoulders are ugly' when looking at my reflection in the glass panel, he covers them with his arms, hugging me from behind so that i see instead that i'm loved. and know this: in just one man's eyes at least in this world of too many, i'm beautiful.
just about 7 mths more and its time to ponder over guestlists and get my bridesmaids some clothes. or likei said, buy cloth from arab street with safety pins. haha.
and in 7 mths, we'll no more be sending air kisses over the phone at 11pm every weekday night. we'll transit over to the world of real goodnight kisses! (and he'll be my slave forevermore! ) oops.read: wives submit to your husband ..(bible page 1015 aka 1 Peter 3:1)
we'll end our 5 year long distance upp changi east and west coast crescent relationship and move into the era of strathmore avenue.
i told him so but he thinks i'm just being clingy and 'dependent'. oh well, too bad then. i will stick like superglue and he better get used to it come dec 27th.
i like it then when i forget my sunglasses and can't take the glare, he will put his hands over my eyes so that there is effectively no glare (infact, there is no vision) and he'll just take my hand and lead me. well, we must look quite ridiculous to the rest of the world but it's ok, we're safe and snug in our own.
and when i go 'my shoulders are ugly' when looking at my reflection in the glass panel, he covers them with his arms, hugging me from behind so that i see instead that i'm loved. and know this: in just one man's eyes at least in this world of too many, i'm beautiful.
just about 7 mths more and its time to ponder over guestlists and get my bridesmaids some clothes. or likei said, buy cloth from arab street with safety pins. haha.
and in 7 mths, we'll no more be sending air kisses over the phone at 11pm every weekday night. we'll transit over to the world of real goodnight kisses! (and he'll be my slave forevermore! ) oops.read: wives submit to your husband ..(bible page 1015 aka 1 Peter 3:1)
we'll end our 5 year long distance upp changi east and west coast crescent relationship and move into the era of strathmore avenue.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
ending a cycle.
when death comes prematurely, we all mourn the loss of 'what could have been'.
this week,death struck twice. once, near home but a lot less tragic for it was a life well lived and spanned over 8 decades.
Esther, (isaac's grandma) and a future grandmother in law for me went home into the arms of Jesus on thursday, 22nd May.
While we all shed a tear coz we missed her, we laughed at her 'so cute' antics like how she would clap and sing along to 'beautiful sunday' and always went 'oh dear dear dear ' in her signature Esther style.
she was a cheerful vibrant spunky ah ma and got habitually distracted by nice pretty things. the vanity vein did not miss her, like most of her female counterparts and she fussed over her hair to make sure that it was freshly dyed, in the same vain hope to conceal that she was a grandma of over 8 decades old.
all in all, she was loved, cherished and cared for. and now, she joins her heavenly husband, our lord Jesus and her earthly husband, Donald together with her firstborn, Mary in heaven.
**
news from further away but harder to bear that evoked a greater 'grief reaction' however came in the form of Maria Chapman's sudden demise due to a tragic car accident. this little Chinese girl escaped probable female infanticide or a fate much worse as she was adopted from China into a loving, Christian American home.
just 10 days after her 5th birthday, for reasons I can't fathom but can't stop pondering over, she returned to her heavenly home.
this news hit me hard and the frustrations of a regular work day just faded into oblivion as new grief dominated my thoughts. it's the 'whys' and the imagining of the pain her family must be going through etc etc that raced endlessly through my mind.
i don't have the answers but i know Maria today is with Jesus and that is a mighty comfort. How many people can say that of their children? they may have lived a successful illustrious life in all earthly measures but at the end of the cycle, if it doesn't lead to Jesus, it is all futile. all nothing. zilch. even heaven is nothing without Jesus.
someday, the answers will come and death will be no more. someday, in the heavenly courts where praises ring and families reunite, all the tears will be no more. but until that someday, His grace and comfort be our sufficiency. His presence, Himself be our all in all.
this week,death struck twice. once, near home but a lot less tragic for it was a life well lived and spanned over 8 decades.
Esther, (isaac's grandma) and a future grandmother in law for me went home into the arms of Jesus on thursday, 22nd May.
While we all shed a tear coz we missed her, we laughed at her 'so cute' antics like how she would clap and sing along to 'beautiful sunday' and always went 'oh dear dear dear ' in her signature Esther style.
she was a cheerful vibrant spunky ah ma and got habitually distracted by nice pretty things. the vanity vein did not miss her, like most of her female counterparts and she fussed over her hair to make sure that it was freshly dyed, in the same vain hope to conceal that she was a grandma of over 8 decades old.
all in all, she was loved, cherished and cared for. and now, she joins her heavenly husband, our lord Jesus and her earthly husband, Donald together with her firstborn, Mary in heaven.
**
news from further away but harder to bear that evoked a greater 'grief reaction' however came in the form of Maria Chapman's sudden demise due to a tragic car accident. this little Chinese girl escaped probable female infanticide or a fate much worse as she was adopted from China into a loving, Christian American home.
just 10 days after her 5th birthday, for reasons I can't fathom but can't stop pondering over, she returned to her heavenly home.
this news hit me hard and the frustrations of a regular work day just faded into oblivion as new grief dominated my thoughts. it's the 'whys' and the imagining of the pain her family must be going through etc etc that raced endlessly through my mind.
i don't have the answers but i know Maria today is with Jesus and that is a mighty comfort. How many people can say that of their children? they may have lived a successful illustrious life in all earthly measures but at the end of the cycle, if it doesn't lead to Jesus, it is all futile. all nothing. zilch. even heaven is nothing without Jesus.
someday, the answers will come and death will be no more. someday, in the heavenly courts where praises ring and families reunite, all the tears will be no more. but until that someday, His grace and comfort be our sufficiency. His presence, Himself be our all in all.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
perilous times
" For we know that the whole creation has been groaning togethe in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies"
Romans 8: 22-23
myanmar cyclone. sichuanearthquake. philippines typhoon. sumatra earthquake.
what next?
Romans 8: 22-23
myanmar cyclone. sichuanearthquake. philippines typhoon. sumatra earthquake.
what next?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
in Christ alone
will i glory.
if i didn't update any longer, this would rust. this blog was started to document Him in my life and the recent event,though not spectacular deserves an entry.
i never thought it was possible and i berated myself over the course of preparing (and fretting) as to why i did this. this was completely my own initiative and i had no one to blame and despite knowing i had close to no human resource (but not realizing the scale it would eventually be), i charged ahead.
even if this was my swansong, i think it concluded very nicely. i never thought i could even do it since i have close to zero coordination skills and am uptight, perfectionistic and terribly short-handed. but i guess, in everything, this is true: God + me = majority and nothing is impossible if i have Him.
He was truly the invisible hand behind the event. there was nothing spectacular but all i would say complimented the event (although i don't know if it was out of courtesy) because of the intangible aspects. this was the warmth, the laughter, the fine balance between presentation and relaxation. i had no control over these aspects no matterhow much i planned and its the general dynamics of the crowd that caused the event to be successful. and for that, i only have Him to credit as He mingled invisibly in the crowd as the chief host and servant.
He was the first person I invited and I'm so glad He showed up. otherwise, I'd be left with just me and a very sad show. prior to the event, i was assaulted by thoughts of terrible 'what ifs' such as if no one turned up etc.
all in all, i watched in awe as how everything i didn't plan panned out and all my blind corners covered by His dedication. and most of all, i'm so grateful He held me together. in the multitude of my anxieties, He truly comforted my soul and strengthened me both physically and emotionally.
I just pray that the eyes of those who have yet to encounter Him will see Him. I can't quite say 'thank you' when a compliment is served because i know i just can't take credit for this. Nobody knows how i could barely hold together and how much I wanted to give up. Nobody knew the wreck i was or imagined the loser i could be if He was not on the scene. Not just for this event, but life itself.
I just pray, that when i say 'praise God', 'Jesus blessed this', 'my prayers were answered', that it would be a little seed of His glory germinating in their heart that will erupt into more evidences of His future manifest glory. i'm not trying to be modest. i'm only being truthful.
I just pray that they'll see beyond me. and if they can't, i would be sorely disappointed and sorry for inadvertently robbing the glory of my best friend.
i've been thinking over the past few days and one reason why i was sorely disappointed and disheartened with work/career is that i always wanted my job to not just be a job but a ministry. that God can through me change conditions to better the lives of people, to change people, to touch hearts, to be the glove for His hand to work through to yield results to bless the company.
i want to sow a seed of His person in human hearts, be a friend /intercessor to those who don't know Him and be a runway for His glory to take flight so that His name can be exalted.
i want to make money. not so that isaac and i can live like a king but so that we can serve more people with this money and meet all our needs. at the risk of sounding overly altruistic and drawing glory to myself, do note that none of these desires have bore fruit. and that is why, i'm here at this fork in the road wondering and wandering.
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And only by His strength I've overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hand
But those trophies would not equal
To the grace on which I stand
"in Christ alone"
if i didn't update any longer, this would rust. this blog was started to document Him in my life and the recent event,though not spectacular deserves an entry.
i never thought it was possible and i berated myself over the course of preparing (and fretting) as to why i did this. this was completely my own initiative and i had no one to blame and despite knowing i had close to no human resource (but not realizing the scale it would eventually be), i charged ahead.
even if this was my swansong, i think it concluded very nicely. i never thought i could even do it since i have close to zero coordination skills and am uptight, perfectionistic and terribly short-handed. but i guess, in everything, this is true: God + me = majority and nothing is impossible if i have Him.
He was truly the invisible hand behind the event. there was nothing spectacular but all i would say complimented the event (although i don't know if it was out of courtesy) because of the intangible aspects. this was the warmth, the laughter, the fine balance between presentation and relaxation. i had no control over these aspects no matterhow much i planned and its the general dynamics of the crowd that caused the event to be successful. and for that, i only have Him to credit as He mingled invisibly in the crowd as the chief host and servant.
He was the first person I invited and I'm so glad He showed up. otherwise, I'd be left with just me and a very sad show. prior to the event, i was assaulted by thoughts of terrible 'what ifs' such as if no one turned up etc.
all in all, i watched in awe as how everything i didn't plan panned out and all my blind corners covered by His dedication. and most of all, i'm so grateful He held me together. in the multitude of my anxieties, He truly comforted my soul and strengthened me both physically and emotionally.
I just pray that the eyes of those who have yet to encounter Him will see Him. I can't quite say 'thank you' when a compliment is served because i know i just can't take credit for this. Nobody knows how i could barely hold together and how much I wanted to give up. Nobody knew the wreck i was or imagined the loser i could be if He was not on the scene. Not just for this event, but life itself.
I just pray, that when i say 'praise God', 'Jesus blessed this', 'my prayers were answered', that it would be a little seed of His glory germinating in their heart that will erupt into more evidences of His future manifest glory. i'm not trying to be modest. i'm only being truthful.
I just pray that they'll see beyond me. and if they can't, i would be sorely disappointed and sorry for inadvertently robbing the glory of my best friend.
i've been thinking over the past few days and one reason why i was sorely disappointed and disheartened with work/career is that i always wanted my job to not just be a job but a ministry. that God can through me change conditions to better the lives of people, to change people, to touch hearts, to be the glove for His hand to work through to yield results to bless the company.
i want to sow a seed of His person in human hearts, be a friend /intercessor to those who don't know Him and be a runway for His glory to take flight so that His name can be exalted.
i want to make money. not so that isaac and i can live like a king but so that we can serve more people with this money and meet all our needs. at the risk of sounding overly altruistic and drawing glory to myself, do note that none of these desires have bore fruit. and that is why, i'm here at this fork in the road wondering and wandering.
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And only by His strength I've overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hand
But those trophies would not equal
To the grace on which I stand
"in Christ alone"
Saturday, May 03, 2008
brief update
am so glad to be back.
i just realized i hvae an uncanny love-hate relationship with HK, all because i got really sick on both trips this month there.
first one, i had a severe case of gastric and i was in a lot of pain at some ulu convention centre. and before i knew it, i did a merlion.
then just yesterday, i was being wrapped up in blankets and guzzling hot water as a fever raged on and my throat felt like i swallowed blades.
my consolation was that this time, mum was with me and she nursed me and prayed and prayed while i lay in bed shivering. i actually felt a tangible shift and release when she was done praying. my mum is such a prayer warrior. wish my mum could travel with me whereever i go.
sometimes it feels so surreal how its possible to shuttle so much in like 3 days. i cannot believe i was still in hk a few hours ago and now here i am. its kinda disconcerting and i feel like i've lost all my bearings.
and during my last trip to hk 2 weeks ago, i kept thinking i was in china.
off to bed. =/
i just realized i hvae an uncanny love-hate relationship with HK, all because i got really sick on both trips this month there.
first one, i had a severe case of gastric and i was in a lot of pain at some ulu convention centre. and before i knew it, i did a merlion.
then just yesterday, i was being wrapped up in blankets and guzzling hot water as a fever raged on and my throat felt like i swallowed blades.
my consolation was that this time, mum was with me and she nursed me and prayed and prayed while i lay in bed shivering. i actually felt a tangible shift and release when she was done praying. my mum is such a prayer warrior. wish my mum could travel with me whereever i go.
sometimes it feels so surreal how its possible to shuttle so much in like 3 days. i cannot believe i was still in hk a few hours ago and now here i am. its kinda disconcerting and i feel like i've lost all my bearings.
and during my last trip to hk 2 weeks ago, i kept thinking i was in china.
off to bed. =/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)