ending a cycle.

when death comes prematurely, we all mourn the loss of 'what could have been'.

this week,death struck twice. once, near home but a lot less tragic for it was a life well lived and spanned over 8 decades.

Esther, (isaac's grandma) and a future grandmother in law for me went home into the arms of Jesus on thursday, 22nd May.

While we all shed a tear coz we missed her, we laughed at her 'so cute' antics like how she would clap and sing along to 'beautiful sunday' and always went 'oh dear dear dear ' in her signature Esther style.

she was a cheerful vibrant spunky ah ma and got habitually distracted by nice pretty things. the vanity vein did not miss her, like most of her female counterparts and she fussed over her hair to make sure that it was freshly dyed, in the same vain hope to conceal that she was a grandma of over 8 decades old.

all in all, she was loved, cherished and cared for. and now, she joins her heavenly husband, our lord Jesus and her earthly husband, Donald together with her firstborn, Mary in heaven.

**
news from further away but harder to bear that evoked a greater 'grief reaction' however came in the form of Maria Chapman's sudden demise due to a tragic car accident. this little Chinese girl escaped probable female infanticide or a fate much worse as she was adopted from China into a loving, Christian American home.

just 10 days after her 5th birthday, for reasons I can't fathom but can't stop pondering over, she returned to her heavenly home.

this news hit me hard and the frustrations of a regular work day just faded into oblivion as new grief dominated my thoughts. it's the 'whys' and the imagining of the pain her family must be going through etc etc that raced endlessly through my mind.

i don't have the answers but i know Maria today is with Jesus and that is a mighty comfort. How many people can say that of their children? they may have lived a successful illustrious life in all earthly measures but at the end of the cycle, if it doesn't lead to Jesus, it is all futile. all nothing. zilch. even heaven is nothing without Jesus.

someday, the answers will come and death will be no more. someday, in the heavenly courts where praises ring and families reunite, all the tears will be no more. but until that someday, His grace and comfort be our sufficiency. His presence, Himself be our all in all.