better not safe than sorry.

i'm driven by a force that wants to live life to the fullest, love the hardest and overcome so that on my deathbed, i'll be able to wave my temporary home goodbye gaily knowing i truly lived. i'm not scared to die physically. i'm scared to die spiritually and mentally, more than anything else.

i want to savour all the blessings He has availed for me. To have the best marriage on earth, have the epic romance of all times with the one i love, share a life of communion in Him with him, and raise champions whose hearts are sold out to the one true God, to live fearlessly for Him only.

i don't want to stay 'safe' and never venture out, never try. my life has to be an adventure no matter how fraught with fear i sometimes am, as the uncertainty bellows from the deep and i'm dangling precariously by a thread called faith. undoubtedly, sometimes fear holds me back and the 'what ifs' swallow my gusto before i even start to pray. but the greater fear of one day looking back at my days in regret and peppering my lines with 'if only's propells me even further into the unknown.

i've made a decision to be bold. this decision will leave room for mistakes, forgiveness and grace to pick up and move on. this decision equips me to live to discover His best plans for me, to evidence the truth that 'He'll never leave me nor forsake me'', to be surprised by Him and to live the the overcoming life He decreed. i don't have to walk safely on the pathway when i can fly. at the same time,the knowledge that i have all but one life time restrains me from living carelessly but exercising prayer and counsel.

there are certain key areas in my life that are awaiting His full restoration. the robbers of my faith have pilferaged the deep treasures of my heart and i'm waiting a full compensation and the shame of their offense. it seems abyssamal when i examine it with the standards of this world and i've walked the valley of despair because of it. but i know, without a doubt that my God of isaac will have the last laugh from the top of Zion. and His laughter is my victory cry.

feeding my soul jay chou
with corrine may on repeat play
i can't hear You now.
garrison my soul with Your love
before they lower the casket of hope below the earth
thieves are pilferaging my hope
and the weight of my expectations
crush my spirit
lift me out from the abyss of dust
hoist my hope up the mast
blast the lies out of my soul
and let the voice of truth resound in victory.