what i really want now

i just saw the wedding photos of a secondary sch friend and i just cried and cried.I was never close to her so i knew very little and it really isn't about the the skills of the photographer if you know what i mean.

I've seen so many wedding photos and but hers really has a light and a touch of heaven to it. i want mine to be like that too...it's no use getting the best photographer when there are no 'God' moments to capture.

gah. i wish them a lifetime of blessings in Him.

**
i wished i knew how to trust and i wish i could stop myself from wondering how things will ever fall into place.

it's not that i think about it all the time but i try not to think about it a good part of the time and that itself is tiring.

it beats human logic to know how it'll fall into place seamlessly and beautifully when we have such busy schedules and life is sometimes not friendly. but even if it means walking on the tight rope, i'll walk together with him and Him. and really,i do have it all in place. so my motto is: everything is in place as long as you have decided on the groom and the God who will chair the wedding and direct the marriage.

and sometimes the reminder of that alone is enough to remind me how blessed i really am.

this moment, iwish i could accelerate things and fly to dec 27th with him. never mind the frills and the picture perfect settings on the humongous guest list. i think even if it was so simple, as long as its with Him and him, it's more than everything i asked for.

it was never those things that made any wedding beautiful but the couple and the God behind the couple who authored their story. i don't have any grandiose ideas of the perfect wedding or marriage. (infact, many friends are startled at how little i care about these things. so i'll appreciate flower and dress advice!) i'm just thankful it's going to happen ( eeks. that sounded desperate)i'm just glad and all charged up to march into thisnew chapter of our lives as we covenant ourselves together in Him.

after all that we've weatherd and overcome, i'm brimming with excitement to start the new journey. the challenges may have wearied me for agood part and threatened to shipwreck my faith but now i'm good to go, soar and conquer.

it's going to be beautiful i assure you. today we already had one of those 'married fights' on whether to put coconut milk in the curry (i refused to have it added). i don't know what the future holds and sometimes it seems intimidating but i've got a good companion for life who is a soulmate, comrade, believer. and a very faithful God.

and that there'll be two pots of curry, of course.

iron will sharpen iron and sometimes i'll sulk and grouch and God forbid, scream. but we'll work it through like we always did. always will by the sheer grace of God and His wisdom. i've often joked that God gave me a woodblock but how not to when He started of as acarpenter. this is not the end product yet and soemtimes he gives me splinters but i must say 'good job!' to my dear Lord Jesus.

he has been everything i asked for and more.

and for you who is of little faith. do not mourn for isaac. God is not done with me.