so i realised that each of us choke up with so many words inside us but we never find the right audience. or we just don't dare to be honest enough. but who's to blame? the world is too judgmental and it's just too wrong sometimes. but the yardstick for right is always impossible to reach anyway.
i know a friend, a dear friend who kept so much choked inside its a wonder this friend stays alive. worse than me. i bottle up a lot but i always somehow explode. i'll always manage to find a human audience, be it in a stranger or a friendso far flung from my life (for security reasons) or just someone i know who wouldn't judge and would understand.
my friend never got to say those words because for a moment of relief and vent, it could cost a lot of hurt to other people. and my friend stayed true to the course and as far as i know, no one knows the secret. its one of the best kept secrets. until i found out.
because no matter how hard anyone tries to hide anything, it'll come out in other things. human beings are just so fallible and weak. will never triumphs. truth does. i cannot confront said friend . i don't have the heart to. it's none of my business anway. and i know i'd only meet with vehement denials if i even ask. and it happened way too long ago for me to bring it up outta the blue. i'll keep it a secret too. not mine but i will. my friend will not read this blog but my friend will know i found out. somehow, it'll just show. its like that. you cannot bring yourself to say it but you hope someone will see it, guess it..and den u unconciously confirm it. its like that. and how you did it, you cant even remember. life is a mystery.
deep down, everybody wants to be heard.
which is why i keep this blog. although its been two years and i still cant bring myself to tell more than 10 pple the address. its ironic.
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