same

days of dust go rambling by
running circles round my dreams and my life


if only i could scream my frustration away
if only i could see what He was doing in me
if only.

but i am not one who dwells on 'if onlys'.
i'll just scream but the frustration does not go
i'll just pray that He helps me see.

these days, there are only that many people i trust and can talk to.
of coz there are als o that many people who wanto talk to me and lick my wounds. not gape at them.
there are also that many people who can still make me laugh
its when u are at ur ugliest then u know who really loves you
it's in the dark that you can truly see who carries the light.
i have a phonebook so big that i have to choose who to include but when the rubber meets the road, the numbers that i do call are the same few. and i've committed them to memory anyway.

it used to be that betrayal was something you thought only existed on ch 8. but lately, its been a common feature in the lives of my very close friends and i ache for them because i know the hurt is debilitating. i wont try to numb the pain. i'll just keep praying that you and you and you will truly heal.

no updates. none at all. things aren't changing.
so is He.
so is His love.