today i found out for myself how it must have felt like to be like the blind man set free by Jesus, to be like the woman with the issue of blood who was healed by Jesus.
unlike the woman however, i had zero faith in me to even reach out and touch Him. i was low all over again and the physical symptoms only served to heighten my despair and served as a mockery to me. i felt that i was let down by Him, by the word.
judge me if you can't help it but that was truly so. then in the midst of the service my pastor received a word of knowledge and addressed my problem. my physical symptoms that were so unique and stubborn. He called me out through His faithful servant, my beloved pastor and there and i stepped out(i had no choice anyway, it was really just me), received prayer and got healed.
not just on the outside but on the inside too. its beyond description. a problem that has plagued me for so long and gave me so much trouble is finally gone. i couldn't reach out for Him so He reached out to me. i couldn't hear Him and He did all that was necessary to make himself heard. so that i would know His heart. so that Father and daughter could reconcile and there would be no more misunderstandings.
i was joyful, yet relieved and at peace. its a paradox of emotions, juxtaposed opposites. now i know i experienced mercy and grace anew. on a new level. and best of all, i walked away today knowing more and wanting to know more about my Father's heart for me.
never mind the theology, i feel loved and thats just that.
i wanted to shout and just run out and tell someone. so here i am. healed and whole by Jesus Christ.
No comments:
Post a Comment