3 months old.

I don't know why I'm here except that I'm being incubated for something else. And where I am is part of Your grand plan and that You didn't fall off the throne everytime I messed up. (Because otherwise, we are all in trouble because of me).

I don't like it when it's said that 6 others can lose their jobs because of me. I was tempted to retort with ''we'll see''. Because I would have done my best with zero training and no help whilst they had whittled their time away. I would have learnt what not to do, what to do better and be better and sharper in acumen and expertise. I cannot say the same for the rest.

-cue William Hung angsty moment-

Don't tell me I need to smile more. I do smile. At the right time and most importantly, to the right people.

I'm already cramping my style big time to accomodate. Now when I'm penalized for scribbling furiously to record notes and thoughts for work, I feel extremely disrespected and disgruntled.

That said, I'm learning loads, albeit the hard and arduous way. I want to ace this scholarship, as unglamourous as it sounds. It is fun, when I get it right or come close to it. When I do market research and churn out analysis that sales results will testify to, I get the good kind of adrenaline rush and endorphins overload. All in all, I've got it good and I know I'm blessed.

I know I have to depend on You every step of the way. I know I am nothing without You.

I'm in a good place. Most of all, I'm in His will for my life.

I cannot see it yet but this is an incubation period for greater better things that serves His purpose. I need to be patient. With Him and with myself.