34 weeks + 6 days

Had too eventful a weekend filled with scares and I hope for no more repeats until 26 nov which is what we scheduled for his debut.

Whole jargon of feelings now from confusion to anxiety. I feel absolutely alone in this and I wanto be the best I can for him but how...

Feelings of inadequacy just keep eating me up when I'm already battling physical ailments and discomforts. Husband is well..yet to come out of his reverie and really take this elephant of fatherhood by the tusks. He's somewhere still transmitting between adolescence and adulthood and I'm so scared that Nate will come to no father. 

I'm so excited to meet him but I think I'm I'm the only one. Days are getting longer and nights shorter with rest elusive.i hope he will be celebrated because he's my gift and my miracle. I love him so much! 

32 weeks + update

It doesn't get easier but the end is in sight. Happiest news include that I might be 10 days more advanced than believed so dday might be sooner. Yesterday was bad and I cannot imagine 6 weeks more of that. 

Have been driven to the brink of tears and crawled back so many times over.

Now, I count my blessings at 653 am. Feeling his knee rise against my skin and having the thigh stretched out against my rib etc. these moments I'll always cherish..but won't con me into thinking of second child. 

I love this boy so much it's like my heart is bursting. 

I cannot wait to hold him. 

Cannot take it anymore (again)

Pregnancy is already hard enough with elusive sleep and a hosts of discomforts. 

Then, you get pressure from the self-professed omniscient mother-in-law.

Then the convenience of texting means she gets to flood your text inbox with a flurry of essays on what to do and what not to do. That's not it..then there's the Australian agenda. Then there's the 12 am message to check if you have fish sauce. Because that's really impt, more impt than your sleep and sanity. Then she says that she's coming more often.

Breakdown.