my last sunday working.

went to Sloane hotel for dinner today with my family. its the quaintest place and it totally doesn't feel like i'm in singapore at all.

will upload pics much later but the highlight is, it was reported in the papers that the site is worth about 55 mil.

so while we were supposed to reverse out, i unwittingly engaged the 'D' gear and ran straight into the 40 year old hotel, prompting my brother to scream, "wah, 55 million nearly gone because of jiejie"

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then at home, while trying to park, the neighbour who was actually washing the car with his brother backed into the corner and froze in shock as he watched me (try to) park the car. they refused to come out of hiding until i safely got out and locked the car.

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all that aside, my tear ducts are actually very overworked because of a whole host of reasons. i suddenly abhor so manythings that i used to permissively approve and because of the stand i take now, i'm setting the stage for a lot of 'showdowns'. the refusal to compromise sets me against 'goliaths' bigger than i can imagine. and i'm not sure if i'm half a david.

but God will still be God so i'll wait and see. suddenly , overnight i find myself standing against alot of opposition and unfortunately, apart from isaac and Jesus, i see no one else on my side. it feels terribly alone but i've made of my mind. alot of pple will probably balk at the change and sometimes i almost feel like turning back and just crawling back into my oblivion and console myself with the lousy thought that 'alone, i can't make much of a change anyway ' and just enjoy my material blessings but i can't turn a blind eye.

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i used to think i'll try to make it 'big' and take my family and kids on expensive holidays to disneyland etc. disneyland was my favorite (and still is) and i just want to bring my kids there every year.

today, i realised that my first and foremost duty as a mother is to endeavor to replicate the spiritual DNA of Jesus in them and i realised that until they realise there is a sin filled suffering world out there in desperate need of help and Jesus, i haven't fulfilled anything in life. for someone that is ultra particular about sanitation and hygeine, i have been pretty stirred to go beyond the first world geographical boundaries into the third just to share some love and shed some light.

while my kids bask in the blessings that people in the first world so freely taken for granted, i want to open their eyes and hearts to see what is beyond this world, to see the heaven and the hell. to experience the heaven and give them a desire to drive heaven into hell and continue what Jesus set out more than 2000 years ago to do- set the captives free.

i don't know how to do that if it doesn't begin with me and isaac. God help us, along with all our weaknesses and infirmities, we just want to make a difference and redeem the culture and show the world Jesus lives.