Thursday, December 30, 2010

Eve of new year's eve

This time of the year, I'm extra fidgety because I'm not brave enough to come to terms with the fact that one whole year has gone passed in a flash and here we are, at the threshold of another unknown.

There is a strange romanticism in facing this alone (so to speak) because God is so close and you know come what may, even if I had to cross through hellfire, He will be there.

We will watch the year deplete of it's last glories like a sunset and wait in anticipation (and trepidation) for a new year.

What really lies ahead? I have no clue. Except that my God is already there.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

Monday, December 27, 2010

I'm not alone

Maybe I'm not as alone as I think.

Am amazed at the numerous parallels between our stories. Between mine and yours, between mine and a novel's plot and even silly movies.

These help me gain another perspective and strangely provide an awesome sense of comfort. Somewhere out there, there are peope going through similar predicaments, searching for the same answers. I might not know you but we're on the same journey. I know at least somewhere out there, if I ever had to chance to confide in you, you'd empathize.

If only we knew our destinations and answers like the finale of a drama series which we can fast forward to.

If only.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

27th Christmas

It was good by most standards. I wished the birthday boy happy birthday and determined in my heart to not let my own gloom, or anything at all overshadow the joy of this occassion.

Jesus, I'm thankful for a lot but mostly, I'm thankful for You.

Had a panic attack while napping. This was a sneaky one that threatened to ruin the day. By God's grace, it didn't. Will not go into the details of it but it was nicely ambushed and unexpected. Isaac refuses to leave me alone for too much but spent most of the day sleeping. Poor boy. I empathize with fatigue. He attempted to cook noodles thrice as per my instructions. Didn't work and the resident chef of the house had to come in for rescue. He cracked no egg but I managed to crack a smile.

I reconnected with the lovely Pam and we chatted and it's amazing how much we can share over msn in such a short time. God, I miss that girl. Has it been a decade since she injected coffee into my veins? Now, we're all grown up and she is injecting Godly perspective into my life. How awesome. I'm so proud of this girl.

Brother spent this christmas in the holy land (I hope he was in a manger) coz I am jeolous.

On the way back from dinner after church, zac and I were both caught in crazy thunderstorm that has been inundating SG. It was funny rushing in the rain. We got home soaked and cold but had a good laugh. His valiant but vain attempt to shelter me from the strong winds with his skinny body was also hilarious.

January 2011 looms ahead. God, you must have something planned. Please tell me soon.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Look at what came in the mail

Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

-----Original Message-----
From: DAVID WILKERSON TODAY <no-reply@lists.worldchallenge.org>
Date: 24 Dec 2010 02:03:06
To: <devotions-en@lists.worldchallenge.org>
Reply-To: devotions@davidwilkerson.org
Subject: YOU WILL SURVIVE

David Wilkerson Today

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24, 2010

YOU WILL SURVIVE

Happiness does not mean living without pain or hurt—not at all. True
happiness is learning how to live one day at a time, in spite of sorrow and
pain. It is learning how to rejoice in the Lord, no matter what has happened in
the past.

You may feel rejected and abandoned. Your faith may be weak and you think you
are down for the count. Sorrow, tears, pain, and emptiness may swallow you up
at times, but God is still on the throne. He is still God!

Convince yourself that you will survive. You will come out of it and, live or
die, you belong to the Lord. Life does go on and it will surprise you how much
you can bear with God's help.

You cannot help yourself or stop the pain, but our blessed Lord will come to
you. He will place his loving hand under you and lift you up to sit again in
heavenly places. He will deliver you from the fear of dying and he will reveal
his endless love for you.

Look up! Encourage yourself in the Lord. When the fog surrounds you and you
can't see any way out of your dilemma, lie back in the arms of Jesus and
simply trust him. He has to do it all! He wants your faith and your confidence.
He wants you to cry aloud, "Jesus loves me! He is with me! He will not fail
me! He is working it all out, right now! I will not be cast down! I will not be
defeated! I will not be a victim of Satan! I will not lose my mind or my
direction. God is on my side! I love him and he loves me!"

The bottom line is faith. And faith rests on this one absolute: "No weapon
that is formed against thee shall prosper…" (Isaiah 54:17).
 



Read this devotion online: http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/node/11171


Pulpit Series Newsletters
================================================================================

Sifted Saints, 12.13.10
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/coverletter/2010/sifted-saints

Handcuffed to Jesus, 11.22.10
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/coverletter/2010/handcuffed-to-jesus

A Skeptic's Guide to Crossing the Jordan, 11.01.10
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/coverletter/2010/skeptics-guide-to-crossing-the-jordan


Sermons By David Wilkerson
================================================================================

A Call to Anguish, 05.01.03
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/sermons/david_wilkerson/2003/call_to_anguish

Crisis Praying, 09.26.03
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/node/2615

Living Without Fear, 01.25.08
http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/node/2640



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more sermons by David Wilkerson visit our Pulpit Series Newsletters
[http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/pulpit_series_newsletters] and Sermon Media
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Audio sermons by David and Gary Wilkerson are also available via our audio
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Friday, December 17, 2010

Lighter

Read an interesting quote but I'm not sure who it originated with : "life is like photography, it is developed by negatives".

Today can be considered 'groundbreaking' in many ways. I had to confront so much including stuff I was no longer accustomed to. Hours of almost non-stop meetings and my brain is not as dynamic as I'd thought it to be.

It was just a brief foretaste of what is to come and I was forced to 'disclaim' the journey I had made. I am no longer so sure of my abilities and my supposed strengths. I used to be able to juggle with ease, now I fear to drop the balls. Obsession masqueraded as drive and while I used to be dynamic, now I'm just happy to not trigger an eruption of too many things at ago.

Over the past two years, I've had to re-organize my priorities and slay many golden calves that I'd erected in place of the throne of the only true God. While the journey has been fraught with pain and despair, having had to come to the end of myself and doubting everything I thought I knew, I do not regret it and deem it necessary. I do not think it was the devil like I used to. The enemy is an opportunist and while it would be in his nature to capitalize on my archilles' heel with temptations, I truly think God orchestrated all this because He loves me. He had to show me the conceit, the ruthless ambition, the self-righteousness that reigned in place of Him. He had to strip me of my strengths so that I will lean on only Him alone. He had to endure malignment of His character from a beloved child He gave everything for the joy that she will one day see the light and step into His plan for her life.

Like David, Jeremiah, Job and Elijah, I had ranted in my despair. I had determined in my heart never to be 'sold out' for God because the lot I get in return does not commesurate. Now, in His light, every opportunity I had to give, was His opportunity to give to me. Sometimes, it was a lesson to strengthen my character, an insight to gain wisdom, other times, a glimpse of His character. Unlike them though, I was never that 'sold out' for Him. I was not a man after His own heart or a young prophet called to proclaim a truth that had zero mass appeal. I did not stay faithful in the face of complete utter worldly ruin and I did not protect His glory in the face of strong opposition.

But that's me :Unprofitable servant and Beloved child that He went to calvary for. Ironically, this apparent dichotomy will forever define me.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

28 oceans

December 7, 1982.

The day I'll forever be thankful for.

We had a lovely weekend of celebrations and I can't thank God enough for His gift of friendship through so many precious ones that have become like family. The brotherhood in Him is such a glorious tapestry, interwoven with His love. Such a glorious masterpiece.

So glad he enjoyed himself despite the tiredness. The feasting was great but the company was even better. We also probably stuffed ourselves with enough japanese food for the next 6 months.

Now we're on the way to cross into another season, sail across another ocean together. I'm excited because of who I have with me to take this journey with.

Happy Birthday my dearest husband. Love you so much.

Thursday, December 02, 2010