bad bad review.

i seldom blog like this but today i was infuriated

we went to eat at the mussel guys in vivocity. 45 minutes after ordering, we were still yet to serve our soup. when we checked on our order, the waiter disappeared and came back only to tell us to 'wait'. and this was before after i practically did astar jump to get their attention.

when the soup came, it was bad bad bad. like yuck water.

then after 20 minutes or so, nothing else came. so i told the waiter if the food doesn't come any time like NOW, i'm leaving. so he told me to 'wait'. now i know why he is a waiter.not waitor.

so after a long time, i asked to see the 'manager' and told him i wanted the bill fo rall that i've eaten and i want it 'NOW'. and he said ok...'wait'. then i said, 'no more waiting'.

so a few seconds later, i found myself standing infront of the managing director and i related the whole story to him while he just listened, all the time counting money and then issuing me the bill a few minutes later. he mumbled an apology and when i saw the bill i told him there was no way i was going to pay the 10% service charge. to his credit, he removed that from the bill. still with no apology. so there. good riddance.

don't judge us!!

the 1st xin: hmm maybe my parents should have called me dar..then i'll be dar ling.
-smiles to self-

the other xin: and my parents should called me sai. then i wouldn't be so constipated.

-stops smiling to self-

her surname is Pang.

and He adds on

Isaiah 45: 8

Shower O heavens, from above
and let the clouds rain down righeousness;
let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit
let the earth cause them both to sprout;
I the Lord have created it

Verse 13:

I have stirred him up in righteousness,
and i will make all his ways level
he shall build my city
and set my exiles free
not for price or reward,
says the Lord of Hosts.

the God of small things.

first You wrote my name in the sky with the clouds and watched me grow. The clouds bearing my name got heavier as I grew in You. Then one day, despite my wishes, You rained me down as I was too heavy for the sky that was once my home. I fought but You promised a second return and to watch out for a surprise.

I fell down like blinding rain, onto the cold harsh ground of mud and grime. Little did I know that while I was up there in the clouds, You'd toiled the land and made it fertile and ready for me, to take root in various forms and bud flowers and be exceedingly fruitful.

I seeped into the deep foundations of the earth and hated the mud. I was now a murky brown and there was not a shade of heaven in me. I stayed in the ground grumbling not realizing the magic that was taking place.

and the magic took place. buds formed, flowers bloomed, trees surged towards the heavens. the whole place was now a forest abuzz with life and vitality, echoing Eden, Your original masterpiece.

Soon, i realized You saw a forest in the empty desolation. You who called the light out of the darkness saw the effects tied to the causes. You saw the life in me that I could give to multiply for You. and for that reason, I was rained down that You might harvest the beautiful forest of fine trees clapping their hands at the sound of Your name.

I gladly rejoiced with them but now I'm no more. I've returned home as a vapour and joined the great 'cloud' of witnesses to cheer them on, to run the race not only for the prize.

what i really want now

i just saw the wedding photos of a secondary sch friend and i just cried and cried.I was never close to her so i knew very little and it really isn't about the the skills of the photographer if you know what i mean.

I've seen so many wedding photos and but hers really has a light and a touch of heaven to it. i want mine to be like that too...it's no use getting the best photographer when there are no 'God' moments to capture.

gah. i wish them a lifetime of blessings in Him.

**
i wished i knew how to trust and i wish i could stop myself from wondering how things will ever fall into place.

it's not that i think about it all the time but i try not to think about it a good part of the time and that itself is tiring.

it beats human logic to know how it'll fall into place seamlessly and beautifully when we have such busy schedules and life is sometimes not friendly. but even if it means walking on the tight rope, i'll walk together with him and Him. and really,i do have it all in place. so my motto is: everything is in place as long as you have decided on the groom and the God who will chair the wedding and direct the marriage.

and sometimes the reminder of that alone is enough to remind me how blessed i really am.

this moment, iwish i could accelerate things and fly to dec 27th with him. never mind the frills and the picture perfect settings on the humongous guest list. i think even if it was so simple, as long as its with Him and him, it's more than everything i asked for.

it was never those things that made any wedding beautiful but the couple and the God behind the couple who authored their story. i don't have any grandiose ideas of the perfect wedding or marriage. (infact, many friends are startled at how little i care about these things. so i'll appreciate flower and dress advice!) i'm just thankful it's going to happen ( eeks. that sounded desperate)i'm just glad and all charged up to march into thisnew chapter of our lives as we covenant ourselves together in Him.

after all that we've weatherd and overcome, i'm brimming with excitement to start the new journey. the challenges may have wearied me for agood part and threatened to shipwreck my faith but now i'm good to go, soar and conquer.

it's going to be beautiful i assure you. today we already had one of those 'married fights' on whether to put coconut milk in the curry (i refused to have it added). i don't know what the future holds and sometimes it seems intimidating but i've got a good companion for life who is a soulmate, comrade, believer. and a very faithful God.

and that there'll be two pots of curry, of course.

iron will sharpen iron and sometimes i'll sulk and grouch and God forbid, scream. but we'll work it through like we always did. always will by the sheer grace of God and His wisdom. i've often joked that God gave me a woodblock but how not to when He started of as acarpenter. this is not the end product yet and soemtimes he gives me splinters but i must say 'good job!' to my dear Lord Jesus.

he has been everything i asked for and more.

and for you who is of little faith. do not mourn for isaac. God is not done with me.

cny 2008. a year of firsts and lasts.

This particular CNY was unique for many many reasons.

-my last ang pow-collecting new year. and my relatives didn't fail to remind me that. what surprised me was comments such as ..

"remember to bring baby next year so you can still collect ang pow!" (to which i am thinking, marrying in dec, how to churn out baby by feb?)

am actually quite excited about being able to give ang pows. am ok with the idea and will not be one of those who 'escape' to another country to avoid that. hopefully it stays that way.

-i literally ate round the clock coz i was quite very happy. i even participated in the cooking..

i have the best pineapple tarts in town (from baker's well), i loveee abalone and i have many goodies from isaac's mum.=)

mum made delicious 'b*ddh* jumps over the wa11' (surprise!) but since we're chr157ians, we decided to change the name. (lest i offend when pple randomly google)

and i suggested.. ' b jumps over the wa11 and ended up with many balukus" (if you look at him, you'll understand)

name change of dish however was suspended.

-isaac joining us for like every single reunion meal. we had three... praise God. i thought he nearly couldnt make it. grandparents on all sides were very happy to have extra grandson.

can't imagine what my next cny will be like. tryingto get from place to place to place via public transport. having like the number of places to visit thriple( or more!), preparing ang pows etc.

miss mummy already. i wonder if she'll still let me camp home from time to time...

true success

True success is multi-faceted and carry many dimensions and never just
about one person. And any suggestion that it is mutually exclusive
froma loving God who gave salvation through the death of his only son is
from the jeolous one, who is hungry for company in hell.

If there is only a singular dimension, it is a counterfeit and a false
distraction sent from the epitome of pride himself-satan. It keeps our
eyes on us and never on Him when we see Him, we ride on his strength
and being the loving God that he is with his heart full of mankind, it
will always affect others positively and effect change for good. It will
not compromise the interests of others. It will not devalue the
intrinsic intangible aspects of life such as health,joy,peace of mind.

Do not be deceived in this bottom line driven world. The values that
the world offers is very very inferior. All things are possible thru Him.
You can be a success in every area of life because you were destined
for it by virtue of the cross. Just follow Him.

I want to be successful. I have a huge thirst to be successful and I
know I want nothing less than His best. And I've since learnt that his
idea of success always includes a platform to affect lives for good. For
people to have a chance to meet a dimension of Him. Just as the
nature of the true source of success, remember that success is never one
dimensional.

In short, sucess is never about 'me' but 'we'.

lost a screw

past two weeks have been quite a pain to get through and i'm proud and glad to be here standing with a 'v' victory sign!*glee*

and i've realized that God truly does have a sense of humour coz he made me. i want to be sophisticated and cool and no matter how hard i try, turn out to be the exact opposite.

many of you already know the different shoes on different foot and related sagas. the latest is walking around with a comb in my head. the one time i attempted to comb my hair, i forgot to complete the process.

also, i continue to trip over air amongst other things.

**
belle's going back today. i can't say it's back coz thats not home. at least i don't want her to call it home.

it's far away in some ulu part of melbourne, it's almost part of the wildlife reserve. i get sad thinkingabout her alone in some tiny shoebox living amongst the wild animals. i would be so terrified if i see a butterfly or a spider. but she manages well and even cooks for herself. i am very proud of her. i can always count on her to feed people.

my only regret for her most recent visit back to Sg is that i didn't have time to stingray or crab with her or her family. it is her family who hold (fond)memories of me cleaning the crab out ...every morsel of meat so that the crab doesn't die in vain. and this is the familywho always generously feeds me in times past. i haven't eaten a proper stingray since steve irwin died but too late, stingray buddy has gone back and mei ling is just useless in that aspect coz she clears out the sambal and that is just on fun.

besides, belle actually eats slower than mei ling so i have time to eat my fill. enough said.

but i love mei ling too because she makes me laugh and feel better abt myself. belle has said that she can always count on us to still be able to have room in our stomachs at anytime of the day. and that makes me feelbetter becausei feel like in gluttony, there is mei ling for company.

and yesterday when i lay in bed laughing at myself (another strange self indulgent practice) at the silly things i do, ie. end upwalking in centrepoint with different shoes , a thought of mei ling came and i laughed even harder, all by myself and God. my friends bring so much joy.

she used to give tution to little kids because she is so smart andp atient. then once, after tution, she walked down one level fromthe apartment block to the lift landing only to realize she left her shoes at the student's house. so she was happilybarefoot trotting home.

i love my friends. they make me feel good abt myself in different ways.

*names have not been changed to protect privacy.

oh yes, goodbye ah belle. if financial miracle happens, i'll hop over to see you. if it doesn't, fly back for my wedding. i'll kick and scream like a brat if you don't show.<> sorry i was unable ot make more time this time around but i'm thankful for the times we had. =)

**
also, i learnt to cook one dish. so isaac will not need to go hungry and overdose on msg when we get married but can come home to piping hot home cooked food! he doesn't have to starve!! but he'll just have to learn to cope with eating one dish for the rest of the year (until i pick up another one)and the same girl for the rest of his life.

for this i can only exhort him to hold on to the word of God and be strengthened by the might of the Holy Spirit.

"call upon me in the day of trouble and i will deliver you"
"my grace is sufficient for you"

and in conjunction with the latest season of American idol, i conclude by being seacresty...

"OUT!"