duck o bell

i miss my great big laughter package!!

have you ever really loved a woman?

many guys i know really should have sought counselling from bryan adams. ;)

i think he quite nailed all the main points. smart guy

to really love a woman
to understand her- you gotta know her deep inside
hear every thought- see every dream
n give her wings- when she wants to fly
then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

when you love a woman you tell her she's really wanted
when you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
coz she needs somebody to tell her that its gonna last forever
so tell me have you ever really- really really ever loved a woman?

to really love a woman
let her hold you- til you know how she needs to be touched
you've gotta breathe her really taste her
til you can feel her in your blood
and when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
you know you really love a woman

you got to give her some faith- hold her tight
a little tenderness- gotta treat her right
she will be there for you, taking good care of you
you gotta really love your woman

bryan adams

my warped sense of humor

received a long distance call from a stranger in hong kong today with a thick british accent to ask me if i suscribe to cable tv.

its obviously a survey of some sort but i was so tempted to put on my fake PRC chinese accent and scare him into believing that he called a beijing number by mistake

i probably wun pull it off very well but it'll add humor to my life. somewhat.

laughter is good for health .

acceptance

its a brand new day again

yesterday i gained yetanother glimpse into the heart of Jesus. the heart beating with love for me. i don't think i can ever aptly describe it in words but i'm amazed at His gift of forgiveness anew and i marvel at His grace all over again.

love is so irrational. i must have had a 1000 or more 'second chances' and He knew that with each 2nd chance, He is taking a calculated risk but He gives me the freedom, the acceptance come what may. because He loves me too much. love always empowers and gives you room to fail, because acceptance is in overabundance.

its truly beautiful to be accepted even when you are so not supposed to be, by man's standards anyway. its so marvellous that a perfect God made the perfect sacrifice so you never have to experience rejection from Him. acceptance gives you the freedom and chance to be yourself and realise who you are, that inspite of who you are and what you do, the love remains because you are you and there is just no duplicate in the world, not for now, not for ever. you are truly special because of everything that you are and that alone is all the reason that is required for love to be extended.

its beautiful, its marvellous. it really is.

no one would love me if they knew all the things i hide
my words fall to the floor
as tears drip through the telephone line

and to the hands i've seen raised to the sky
not waving but drowning all this time
i'll try to build an ark that they need
to float to you upon the crystal sea

-love alone-

whee (;

sometimes when i'm down and very out because the defeated one put on a stunning performance of bluff that he has won , many tell me to keep on keeping on...walk on soldier on..see the cross and head in that direction.

i lament however that there is absolutely zero strength left in me to even breathe...

until a voice inside tells me to just soar on.

thank you. i'll hold on tight to Your wings and do just that. by ur strength and grace.

help is available.

weighty issues

my brother was crying in the living room last night and begging my mom to buy him a digital...WEIGHING machine.

hez upset because he seems to not be able to stop putting on weight despite various measures which basically just include skipping recess only to eat 3 packets of fries later in the day. and maybe a sit up or two a day...which are done when he gets out of bed every morning and if he wakes up from a nap later in the day, it'll be 2.

so why get a digital weighing machine?so that you can now be sure that you did put on 500 g after that lousy snack?i'm not sure why my family thinks the way they do sometimes. i'm logical and rational and i think so maybe thats why i'm such a misfit. but anyway, i suggested that he use the money to put a bike or something so that he can actually exercise. but he seems to think that that money shd be spent on more xbox catridges instead. i don't get it. wazznt he supposed to be upset just five minutes ago about weight?

if sorrow flees fast, it is not a bad thing.

fats should flee even faster. poor boy. sigh.hez so cute this way.so pinchable.

the 4 day week

thought i'd just stop reading other pple's blogs ( yes again) and update my own abeet.

lazy, yes i know.

its mid term break and its not much of a break because im in school so often doing stupid surveys for 4th year marketing students. and therez the someday(yes, someday, amen) will end workload.been very busy

went for a career fair last week and basically, it was an utter waste of time because it was more like a recruit engineers ONLy fair. infact i had one lady shove an application form at me. when i gently refused her by saying that i was certain i really couldn't qualify, she shot me a very sympathetic look and allowed me to keep the post it pad that came along with the application. yoohoo.urgh.

although i'm quite upset that i can't do anything that i really wanto but have to do everything that i really really have to this time(actually its the same all the time).bah.but it'll be good somehow.

i really miss him right now.really do. had the weirdest dream that made me miss him even more. at the end of the day, i know that hez the only one i can truly see beauty in, and whose major faults i can live with. whom i wanto spend the rest of my life with. no matter how much we bicker and fight....=)hez the only one i wanto love all the way.

"when somebody loves you, its no good
unless he loves you all the way.
through the good years, and the lean years and for all the in between years
come what may"

crosscentric

no matter what i need or want,

every single little thing that concerns my well-being has been provided for at the cross.

don't come to me with natural circumstances and limitations to attempt to confound me or shock me.

but thank God, i'm getting increasingly less shocked at the tactics available.

i have been provided for.

the blood has been shed. the body has been broken.

change.fear.love

i am not a big fan of change

my life is changing in a way that i don't necessarily perceive as good and it drives me quite insane. infact, it has resulted in many sleepless nights ever since the first signs of this CHANGE broke out on saturday. it is not necessarily anything close to bad either( except in my own opinion) but because i know its escalating to an eventual overhaul and picking up speed, i feel helpless, and..afraid.

i reach out and try to grasp for support but its only air.i shout out to Him and He catches me right where i am. theres no where i feel safe in now except in His arms, on His shoulders.i feel like hiding so that change will not find me. because i simply cannot muster up enough in me to really see all the good that might be bursting out behind the scenes. i was quite contented before this point. as mentioned earlier, the past 2 mths of 2005 have been absolutely wonderful for me and i revel in this peaceful security so much i am unwilling that my humble little sampan be shaken. its ok, i can do without an aircraft carrier, really, nor a cruise liner, sampan is good.enough.for. me

feel abit lost and i'd rather not think about it. i refuse to let my thoughts wander and let myself wonder when i know it'll only serve to drive me into despair coz my eyes are fixated on the natural.

please keep the cross continually before my eyes so i see nothing else.

i know its Him, deep down. but i amstill held hostage by previous experiences.

isaiah 66.9..."shall i bring to the time of birth, and not cause delivery?says the Lord"

well, trouble is (not), when God asks a question, the answer is sometimes so duh and simple you feel even stupider for wondering in the first place. as much as fear is a strange thing, the opposite which is love, is a stranger and more powerful thing. and i'll sit around andrest and await my liberation from that little fear that tries (its darnest) to incapicitate me.

fountain of delights

my fountain of delights
will never run dry
it sprung forth on the day
He gave His last cry
"it is finished"
thats all i have to remember
no touch ups for the perfect redeemer

so now my fountain of delights
springs forth within me
it never ceases and wanes
cos it was in exchange of His blood and pain

it was my pain and my sorrow
my grief and my hopelessness
that He bore on the cross
yet it is His joy, His righteousness
His blessings, His health
that i revel in daily

mystery

when all my love was vinegar to a thirsty king
my God, my God, why hast thou accepted me?

walk with me...and help me to walk with you

walk with me quiet, walk with me slow
with watered down coffee and words of gold
i can feel the edges of these things
when i hear you speak to me, so walk with me

walk with me empty, walk with me strong
the hush of our voices, when the day seems so long
it is like a balm, it is like a jewel
it unravels all i thought i knew

will you lead me, beside the still waters
where the oil, it runs over, and my cup overflows
you restore my soul

tell me the story, where old is made new
the promise of ages, and all things that are true
when the shadows fall and the wrecking ball
swings and tears me through the heart

cny trivia

day 3 of cny.

eating tom yum myojo because my mum burnt the rice.

heard her blaming that particular brand of rice after that when my grandma 'marvelled' at how anyone can burn rice. even i havent had such an honor bestowed on me.

i accidentally caused a huge chunk of abalone to be thrown away. ouch ouch ouch.

=(

in moments like theseeeeeeeeeeee, and those of day 1 and 2 coz i was quite deafened by endless chatter and screaming, its really the still small voice thats whispering 'be of good cheer' that can bring comfort to your impoverished soul and soothe your overnourished stomachs...

wruffe wruffe

yesterday i was alive and awake for more than 15 hours! and be very impressed!because i was also exercising (sorta)!!!

yah i was on duty for nursery.

and yesterday His grace really came through not just with regards to physical strength but i really really enjoyed myself yesterday. superb.

so im currently suffering from a mild case of nursery withdrawal symptoms whereby i can't stop thinking about the cute babies and the cute things they do..such as...

this baby who can't seem to use both hands at the same time had to put the pencil down to pick up his biscuit to eat it. so one bite later, he'll put the biscuit down and pick the pencil up. so one kind teacher put the pencil in the right hand and biscuit inthe left so that he can effectively multi-task. or so she hoped.

result:he got so confused he nearly ate the pencil and used the biscuit to 'draw'.

ahhhhhh.gooo goo gah gah.

broken record entry

i need to be delivered from this horrible horrible addiction.-reading blogs that affect me ...negatively-

let sleeping dogs lie. i dunno why i go to these websites and unearth things i don't wanto know. at all. but i still do. about people from the forgotten ages about things that are just plain disturbing. ah well.

the workload is seriously mounting and this is the time when His grace abounds much more!been so tired of late but am seriously just contented and loving life and enjoying Him. i think it truly is a miracle to feel so constantly encouraged. i know Hez always there at the low and high points just feeding my soul . even keeping my heart from trouble requires His grace. i need THAT much help.

im going to sound like a broken record but i have to mention this. recently had a ministerial forum in nus whereby students of the 3 local unis are invited to attend a forum with MM lee. what happened was this joker, a history honors student decided to call LKY a despot in his face. well..i wazznt there(argh!) but the aftermath of it izznt too good, for him AND mm lee. did this joker not know what happened to a particular opposition leader in the aftermath of THAT slander lawsuit?and to top it all off, this guy wants a job in the civil service. i don't know which area, but i do know that no matter what, he is majorly blacklisted now. someone aptly pointed out..."he'd better have another citizenship arranged elsewhere".

another broken-record instance. my heart is really overflowing with His goodness in my life. yes, its alot of awe and trembling. literally. and with that i really end up loving dear zac more and hopefully better. in the past, i've often been chided for being overprotective-ala like a mother hen. dun laugh..im serious and i can't help it. especially when past experiences reinforce the need too coz there were just too many evil wolves predating on him. in my own honest opinion! but now with this newly discovered security, i can honestly trust our loving father in heaven to take care of not just the nitty gritty but all things, even when it concerns things of predatory nature and insensitive jibes from people. including the ones we love. zac's very unsuspecting in nature and generally, not very alert. if therez a nice way to put it. din realise that he didn't need to be because His father can protect him and knows what to do, even when the opposition includes His own. He knows.

i can rest. i love him so much but it is truly safe. besides, who am i seriously kidding?that i had anything in me(Except a rather vicious tongue) to protect or defend anyoneeee?even a cockroach is more threatening. hmm...ideas ideas. really thankful that the quality of our relationship is seriously superceding what i've originally thought was extremely fantastic and intoxicating already. thank you Jesus. thank you very much. and i havent even begun on the OTHER areas of my life that are also enjoying His superabundance.

booohoo

i give up u noe.i seriously do.

i tried to add a flicker url and now my blog is weird looking again. i don't care.its unique and special. odd but lovely.

BAHHHHHHhh

the archives are all the way at the bottom.